London Olympics 2012: Costing an Arm, a Leg, and £24 billion

Tower Bridge during the 2012 London Olympics

With the London 2012 Olympics closing in we thought we’d do a fact sheet of the ins-and-outs of this EXCITING global event.

London Olympics 2012

Note we highlighted the word EXCITING (well, capslocked it at any rate) to hit home the very genuine EXCITEMENT the Olympics has drilled up in to all of us.

Please note that, whilst this is going on, unemployment figures are at an all time high and recent graduates from University are finding no work whatsoever.

But, what the hey, let’s just trash another billion we don’t have so we can build a really world class toilet facility to blast all the excrement from our athletes into a world beating sewerage facility!

That’s right, Professional Moron was being facetious about our excitement of this event. So we have a look at the Olympics and what the event actually means for us all.

Also, the team behind it got so confused they asked Keith Moon to perform at the 2012 Olympics. He’s been dead since 1978.

£24 Billion

There is a BBC news story from 2006 that states that the games would cost £3.3 billion. Recent estimates suggest it will likely be around the £24 billion mark.

Let’s just write that again—£24 billion. This vast sum is all for some event where drugged up, narcissistic athletes run about a bit, throw stuff, and jump over things in the hope they can cheat their way to a Gold medal.

How do any of these people actually sleep at night knowing £24 billion has been wasted on this atrocity?

It doesn’t end there, take a look at this insipid thing. This has been designed by Richard Harris and cost £335,000 of tax payer’s hard earned money.

For what? It’s just some stones on metal poles. Not only does it look shit, but it seems like they’ve gone out of their way to make sure this is the case —nice electricity pylon, morons!

This thing will greet drivers who arrive at some venue for some boring event. Local residents are apparently fuming at the cost. And who can blame them?

Professional Moron believes the worst of all this will actually be getting around London. Luckily we no longer live there, but even so we know people who do and we’re not looking forward to their endless complaints.

To add further to the spiralling bill it turns out tube drivers will be getting a pay increase! A further £6.5 million will disappear right there alone.

Professional Moron would like to remind the government that there is an economic crisis on at the moment and we would like to know what the plan is, exactly, once this shambolic event is over? A tax hike, perhaps?

There’s no way the games will bring in £24 billion in revenue, and we’d rather not spend the rest of our lives forking out for your vacuous expenditure for this equally vacuous event. The olympics? Who actually cares? It’s boring.

There’s no other way of putting it. Who wants to sit around watching some pumped up moron trying to vault themselves over a pole?

The best thing about the pole vault is when they injure themselves anyway, so perhaps have an “Injury Day” so we can get our moneys worth. Sheesh kebab!

Now the event kicks off on the 27th July for a few weeks. Interestingly, London also held the Olympics in 1908 and 1948. Interesting, huh? Not really. Much like London 2012! LOL! etc.

Dispense with some gibberish!

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