In Praise Of Hide and Seek


Remember playing Hide and Seek as a kid when you were bored and couldn’t think of anything better to do? Remember how it was actually quite an exciting game back then, and consider if you decided to play it now you’d probably just get in your car and drive to the other side of the country to make sure you won. Yes, sadly with age there comes a certain responsibility. No longer can the ladies play hopscotch during their lunch break, or the gentlemen pretend to be in the army; running around roaring “ratatatata!” and “uhuhuhurrr!” as you mimic a machine gun is only going to draw in some strange looks. Indeed, you could even be fired or committed for this bizarre display of immaturity.

Amazingly there are some who still CAN play Hide and Seek! Behold this little fish dude. Chances are you might have seen these sorts on nature programmes hosted by David Attenborough. These little tykes hide themselves in the ocean floor (it’s sand, donut worry) whenever they fear for themselves. Sadly for them big old nasty, groovy dolphins have developed a sophisticated technique of discovering the blighters in the sand. “What is this technique, Professional Moron?” Er, we’ve forgotten, alright? And we’re not looking it up as we can’t be bothered – so just for the sake of it we’ll just say the dolphins were bestowed with this gift by The Flying Spaghetti monster, for She created us all (even though there’s no evidence to support this wild confabulation)! What’s more, even though humans grow out of childish games, it’s great to see fish haven’t evolved out of it. Hurrah, we say! Hurrah.

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