The Beatles’ Beards Rated

The Beatles
The Beatles minus their beards.
Disclaimer: Today’s post is an X Rated addition to our blog as there will be close up pictures of The Beatles and their beards. If you find this sort of smut distasteful, please head elsewhere.

The Hipster fashion movement has propelled the popularity of massive beards skywards (particularly amongst men, as most women struggle in this area).

Hipsters, if you’re unsure, are the skinny jean wearing, granddad jumper sporting, big beard growing folk who act avant-garde intentionally not on purpose.

It’s one of the less irritating collective fashion statements. But beards are central to the movement.

The Very Best of The Beatles’ Facial Hair

Hipsterism was preceded by Genghis Khan 1,000 years ago. Then The Beatles arrived. To begin with they were clean cut, neatly dressed, cheeky chappies from Liverpool.

As the years went by they let themselves go, loafed about in bed, and took narcotics. This led to some massive beards which, here today, we rate in the name of art!

John Lennon’s Beard

The Stubble Master!
The Stubble Master!

There are plenty of full on Hippy type photographs of Mr. Lennon. Here we’ve shown him rocking a contemporary stubble type shindig.

But he did have his clean cut days, back during filming A Hard Day’s Night (for example).

Lennon’s post-Beatles semi-beard was around the time he wrote songs such as Instant Korma, which was about how much he loved readymade curry dinners.

Despite this love of beards, Lennon’s fashion statement of choice was his Liverpudlian accent.

Mark: 9/10

Paul McCartney’s Beard

In later years, to distance himself from his beard, Sir Paul wrote Rupert and the Frog Song.
In later years, to distance himself from his beard, Sir Paul wrote Rupert and the Frog Song.

Mr. McCartney wrote a song called Here, There And Everywhere. He was referring to his beard, which quickly grew out of control and became a health hazard to himself and anyone near him.

Other songs, such as Get Back, refer to McCartney’s self-awareness that his beard was unwieldy.

Back In The U.S.S.R. was written lamenting his situation, as McCartney began to believe he resembled Rasputin.

Ultimately he formed Wings and produced Band On The Run, originally titled Beard On The Run.

Mark: 8/10

Ringo Starr’s Beard

“I get by with a little help from my beard.”

To this day rumours persist Ringo Starr became infatuated with all things beard.

He demanded The White Album be renamed The Beard Album, and Let It Be was originally titled Let It Beard to assuage Starr’s hopeless lunacy.

Eventually, he learned to control himself and found a new interest in ridiculously oversized bow-ties (pictured).

Mark: 8/10

George Harrison’s Beard

Harrison - the master of all that is beard.
Harrison – the master of all that is beard.

Mr. Harrisons’ major contribution to the beard community, other than being Mr. Beard Of The Year on several occasions, was funding Monty Python’s film The Life of Brian.

Beards feature heavily throughout the movie, including a notorious haggling scene.

Harrison also wrote songs about facial hair. These included Do You Want To Know A Secret (the secret being he was planning to grow his first beard), I Need You (in reference to his beard), and Taxman (in the ’60s the government used to tax beard growth based on overall invasiveness). Excellent stuff, sir!

Mark: 10/10

7 comments

  1. Meh. Even though I despise Mr Wifebeater, John Lennon had the best beard of the bunch.
    It was simply magnificent.
    Complete coverage and very dense from the sideburns over the cheeks and all the way to the mustache.
    Google “John Lennon beard”and get ready for some serious beard envy.

    Liked by 1 person

Dispense with some gibberish!

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