We decided not to research saunas for this piece in order to come across as complete ignoramuses, spouting forth unfounded nonsense and clueless gibberish. Admittedly this is nothing new for us… I mean, look at the title of this blog. Regardless, even a fundamental understanding of saunas would have been useful for today’s post. There is no expertise, so hold on to your hats as this is going to be a bumpy ride.
Saunas are unusual things to say the least. What you do, right, is sit in a roasting hot room and stifle in the exhaustion inducing heat. If you want to step it up a notch you pour water on those coal things, and it all goes crazy and takes the heat to a new extreme. Being in a sauna is what it must be like living in your shower 24/7, except the water’s scolding hot and makes you shriek like an idiot.
If this doesn’t seem crazy enough for you, you’re in luck! Our latest invention involves taking the sauna through an evolutionary step. We’re firm believers that making things more dangerous adds real verve to them, which is why our company, Sawners Is Us (TM), adds a wealth of razor sharp chainsaws and blades into the equation.
We understand saunas are supposed to be areas for relaxation, but wouldn’t it be more interesting if there were several chainsaws sellotaped to the roof and whizzing about manically creating an unholy racket? We’d like to think so, but then that’s us.
Obviously this isn’t everyone’s cup of tea, so there will be a small stall outside where you can partake in culinary delights to calm your shredded nerves. Yes, a little tea stall will be on the premises supplying free tea. You will, of course, be served by chainsaw wielding madmen, but that’s part of the Sawners Is Us experience. It is almost Halloween, after all!
So, book today for the experience of a lifetime! It’s £100 an hour, or $200 for Americans, and includes a complementary packet of marshmallows to throw at the chainsaw wielding tea maids in order to ward off their belligerent advances.