For his real job, Mr. Wapojif was recently in Spain getting sunburnt, wearing his Reni hat, and avoiding families as they lazed about outside their caravans. All this holiday stuff got him thinking… in the intense heat, where is there room to cool the Hell down? The shade!? What is this, 1933?! It’s time for a caravan revolution!
This is why we invented the carafan, which is a normal caravan with an enormous fan integrated into the rear (i.e. the arse) so it can cool down beleaguered holiday-goers. Stand out from the rest, keep your holiday on track, and banish sweat and the putrid stench of BO – throw your money at us and we’ll build you a custom made carafan which will knock your socks off.
We approached this product from two parts – first, the caravan had to be spacious, comfortable, and possessing a toilet which is more like an archaic torture unit for those afflicted with claustrophobia. With this bit done, we turned our attention to the most important bit of the carafan – the fan. This had to be powerful, robust, and provide a wonderful UX (user experience) so ensure cooling is of the highest level.
As such, we fixed in a fan of considerable power into the carafan. It’s capable of gusting with the force of a jet engine (which is, indeed, as it is a jet engine) and will have you cooler than the Fonz at the North Pole eating an ice lolly. So powerful it is we realised we didn’t need to install an engine in the carafan’s engine bit – the fan is enough to propel the carafan along at speeds of up to 500mph!
Naturally, many retirees enjoying a more sedate stage in their lives may not find this overly desirable. If this is you, then you’ll have to buy a normal caravan – a stifling monstrosity with feeble cooling abilities which will ensure you spend your holiday miserable, dehydrated, and wishing you’d forked out the £100,000 ($150,000) for the carafan. It’s your choice.
Once at their destination, holiday-goers baking in the midday sun can simply place their sunbathing implements at the rear of their carafan. Upon turning on the fan, the jet engines will begin, rather forcefully, expelling cool air with tremendous gusto. At this stage we must indicate you will have to nail all your holiday furniture into the ground, otherwise they’ll end up half a mile down your campsite due to the kinetic energy involved.
You’ll also have to strap yourself to your sunbathing bed so as to, also, not end up half a mile down your campsite with severe injuries to your extremities and internal organs. Whilst you will look like a mental patient being buffeted about by gale force winds, it’s worth it to keep your body temperature low in order to maintain your cool.