Invention: The Shower Hair Dryer (shower & hair dryer all-in-one!)

The Shower Hair Dryer
Also comes with a warm setting for blow drying – perfect for those with fragile hair.

For most busy professionals slaving away to make other people wealthy, time is of the essence. If you’re not in work on the dot, you’ll be fired and you’ll never work again. Thusly, it’s essential (if you still have hair – check out our fab Guide to Balding if you do not!) you’re able to save time where necessary. This is why you take a shower in the morning, as opposed to a leisurely soak in your bath.

However, even a shower is a modern luxury which can drag on for too long – it depends on how your rendition of Bohemian Rhapsody is going and whether you want to perfect those high notes. As such, you may be delayed as you Scaramouche about those fandangos – this is where our unprecedented shower hair dryer comes into its own, saving you precious seconds before you hurl on your underpants, dash out into the street, and sprint to work. Cripes!

The Shower Hair Dryer

It functions as any normal shower does – you switch it on, water is propelled out of the nozzle, and you clamber in and eradicate the human stench which you’ve accumulated. You do this using soap, hand scrubbing, and (if you’re rich) assistance from a butler called Jeeves. With the shower hair dryer, Jeeves is out of the job – pack his bags and send him off, that guy deserves nothing!

Now, the genius of this invention is the electricity mains connect directly with the shower – right up through the shower pipe and into the nozzle. There’s a state of the art hair dryer integrated into this water nozzle, so all you need to do in order to switch between the two is turn the water off and then engage the hair dryer mode – you’ll be dry in seconds! It’s amazing!

Please note, it is extremely important to turn off the water supply before engaging the hair dryer feature. If you fail to adhere to this simple instruction, you will be met by severe electrocution instantaneously. The test subject (our esteemed editor, Mr. Wapojif) for this contraption put the shower hair dryer to use in the month of July 2017 and, despite severe memory loss due to multiple electric shocks, he had a hairstyle which made every woman who met him envious beyond their worst nightmares.

Karaoke Extension Pack

For an extra £50 ($70), we’ll throw into your bathroom meal deal an exclusive karaoke extension pack! For this essential add on, you’ll need a 13A 240V extension reel of at least 20ft, a power connection plug adapter, and a localised connection socket (preferably in your property). With this hooked up, you can install the karaoke kit alongside your shower hair dryer and blast out those power ballads!

Our favourites include Electric Barbarella by Duran Duran, Electric Blue by Nicole Scherzinger, Electric Chapel by Lady Gaga, Electric Funeral by Black Sabbath (pretty apt in the highly unlikely event of a malfunction on your product), Electrical Storm by U2, She’s Electric by Oasis, and Agadoo by Black Lace. Please note: should you be electrocuted by our product, we are legally not held responsible.


    • Look, this thing comes with Agadoo! What more do you need?! Jimmy Page, whom we Tweeted, has refused us access to the Led Zeppelin catalogue so we decided Agadoo was the best alternative.


Dispense with some gibberish!

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