Sulking is a bit like skulking, but with less of an emphasis on keeping out of sight. Why? As the sulker, typically, wishes to draw attention to themselves to remove the state of affairs they’re sulking about. Indeed, to sulk is to skulk psychologically but, interestingly, a group of foxes is called a skulk… we can’t draw any parallels with that and sulking or normalised skulking, though.

Anyway, the saying “take it with a pinch of sulk” has been born out of this self-absorbed negativity. Indeed, purveyors of this saying believe they can get their merry way by sulking it up a notch. Well, we’re here to draw attention to this severe foible and point these psychological delinquents back on track with our guide to ignoring an anachronistic old adage.

Take it With a Pinch of Sulk

From our intrinsic understanding of the saying, it means: “If a situation arises you dislike, ensure you sulk in order to effectively manipulate yourself into a better standing.” Now, this is the type of behaviour which should be condemned, as aforementioned. But why has sulking proven such an effective mannerism?

Well, sulking typically starts when one is a child. If there’s a Power Rangers action figure your mother is refusing to buy you as you have 30 already, but you want to complete the set with the Super Power Rangers Special Edition #31 at £40, then you’ll attempt to blag your way into landing that product. Consequently, by sulking (i.e. refuse to behave in a cooperate manner), your beleaguered mother may cave in and purchase the aforementioned product.

Thusly, the Power Rangers situation is a negative one, so take it with a pinch of sulk. That’s the approach – it is wrong (evil, in fact). As a parent, you may wish to end this state of affairs, but tried and tested techniques from previous generations (such as whacking the child with a cricket bat) are considered inappropriate in modern times. What should you do, then, to cease the sulking?

Famine

Our solution to this issue is to instill a bout of famine into your household. This will ensure your young ones are able to grow up appreciating a spartan lifestyle. To induce famine, if you have a significant other incapacitate them (whacking them round the head with a frying pan is a good one) so they’re unable to work and bring in any bread money.

Then, ensure you are also incapable of work. If you punch your boss in the face, this will create the desired outcome. Next, sit about your home unemployed drinking two litres bottles of £3 cider whilst watching tawdry daytime television. Keep this up for several months and you’ll soon find you have no food in the property.

Gradually, the sulking will become very genuine, as opposed to an attempt at manipulation, and your kids will an about life lesson about what it actually means to feel sorry for yourself. Subsequently, when your significant other emerges from their coma, and you’re able to circumvent your criminal record to land another job, you’ll be able to shop without your kids ever taking a pinch of sulk again.