15 Famous Proverbs Ruined By Adding “Kneecaps” Into Them

Kneecaps after an X ray
Know your knees.

Of all the body parts you own, can you really say your kneecaps are your favourite? “Of course!” You two-faced liar!

You probably have two of them. And they’re this, sort of, circular bit of bone that basically keeps your lower leg attached to the top bit.

As such, we’ve decided to make some famous, inspirational proverbs better. All thanks to the wonders of the kneecap(s)!

Two kneecaps don’t make a kneecap

A knee

Indeed, they make two singular kneecaps. As opposed to just the one. Great proverb. A fantastic start to the list!

Don’t count your kneecaps before they hatch

Kneecap x ray

We all have two of them and we’re not expecting them to hatch anytime soon. What would they hatch into, anyway? A kneecap with wings? LOL! Madness.

Great kneecaps think alike

A knee

They do indeed, they all think: “I’m a kneecap.” And they do their bloody job splendidly.

Kneecaps speak louder than words

Kneecap x ray

What? No they don’t. Kneecaps don’t speak at all. How stupid.

Beauty is in the cap of the knee

A knee

If you find beauty in the kneecap, then fair play to you. Although that is one unfortunate, perverted fetish you have right there you freak of nature.

Better late than kneecaps

Kneecap x ray

Agreed, it’s much better to be, like, an hour late to something (say, your wedding) than to exist solely as a kneecap. For that would be a boring existence.

You can take a kneecap to water, but you can’t make it drink

A knee

That’s probably because knees don’t consume water. They don’t have a mouth or anything. Keep that in mind next time. You can jam your kneecap into a puddle, or whatever, but it won’t imbibe the liquid water. That’s biology.

Kneecaps is blind

Kneecap x ray

Well, duh. It’s a bloody kneecap, it doesn’t have an eye socket. Also, that should be “are” as it’s plural *smug grin*.

Mind your own kneecaps

A knee

Yes, we generally do. At no point have we had any temptation to manage anyone else’s kneecaps.

Don’t judge a kneecap by its knee

Kneecap x ray

That’s sage advice. We usually judge a knee by its kneecap. But never a kneecap by its knee. That would be illegal. Serviceable by a public flogging with a rusty chain.

Two kneecaps are better than one

A knee

Yes, but three kneecaps are a crowd. As Hell is other kneecaps. Conversely, zero kneecaps is an even greater problem. As is -1 kneecap, as that breaks the fundamental laws of quantum mechanics. And that’s bad.

Kneecaps can’t be choosers

Kneecap x ray

Not totally accurate. Thanks to the wonders of modern medicine, kneecaps can now have a body part change. It’s perfectly acceptable for a kneecap to become, say, a big toe.

Crime doesn’t pay (in kneecaps)

A knee

Truth. It’s usually money that criminals are after. No kneecaps. Unless they’ve got a black market kneecap business going. Then kneecaps would be highly desirable.

Don’t bite the kneecaps that feed you

Kneecap x ray

Okay. But… no kneecap has ever fed me anything. I’ll keep that in mind, though.

And finally…

Kneecaps seldom knock twice

A knee

Well, yeah… but they seldom knock once, either. What a stupid proverb.

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