July 18, 2019Mr. Wapojif

Exclusive Recipe: Chimichurri & Chim Chim Cher-ee Sauce

Tomato sauce on a spoon
It’s Mary Poppins sauce.

Chimichurri is a sauce consisting of finely chopped parsley, mushed up garlic, a dash of olive oil, some oregano, and a bit of red wine vinegar. Some chefs add a dollop of bleach for good measure.

Chim Chim Cher-ee is a song from the 1964 film Mary Poppins. It was written by the Sherman brothers. Although not normally associated with food, today we thought why the heck not bridge that gap? Let’s do this!

Chimichurri & Chim Chim Cher-ee Sauce

Okay, so how do you make a recipe out of a popular song and an obscure sauce? First off, we tried sticking a DVD copy of Mary Poppins in with the sauce.

That didn’t do much. Plus, our new office apprentice (who taste-tested it) caught something off the secondhand DVD copy we found in a bargain bin. He was rolling around on the floor in agony for days! So we stuck him out in the back yard and told him to shut up.

With that avenue exhausted, we envisioned the sauce as requiring stimulation. So, we made 10 litres of chimichurri and put it in several buckets by our television.

Then we popped up the marinated DVD copy of Mary Poppins, stuck it in our DVD player, got to the Chim Chim Cher-ee bit, and blasted that at 100dB (about 27 shy of shattering your eardrums). We stuck that on repeat for one hour.

During that time we went out of the office to have a look around Manchester. No way were we staying put listening to that hullabaloo! We got some spaghetti hoops from the local shop. We thought it’d make a great hors d’oeuvre for our latest recipe.

On returning to the office, we found the local police outside, plus several of our outraged looking neighbours. Their shouts of protest were lost on everyone as all we could hear was Chim Chim Cher-ee blasting at uncomfortable volume over and over and over.

Alongside explaining to the coppers we were concocting a chimichurri recipe… well, it all got a bit confusing.

Chimichullabaloo

Gifted as he is with wordplay, after the police smashed the office door down and shot dead the DVD player with their guns, our esteemed editor explained the whole situation was a misunderstanding.

“It’s merely a… chimichullabaloo, shall we say? *corny laugh*” A stony silence followed with the police officers staring at our editor unimpressed.

Then one of our neighbours accused us of, “Wanton and malignantly abusive noise pollution!” Mr. Wapojif told him to, “Shut up, you stupid fuddy duddy!” Then he threw a punch. In short it all ended in jail again, we’re afraid.

After that, the 10 litres of chimichurri were labelled a health hazard and shipped off to a decontamination unit in Cornwall. That’s probably due to all the bleach we kept adding to the concoction – plus all the asbestos leftover in the Professional Moron roof and walls.

We later filed a complaint to Manchester County Council about the destruction to our DVD copy of Mary Poppins. They sent us a VHS version as compensation. Bastards.

24 comments

  2. Can’t you see where you went wrong? You should have been using the VHS all along…not the DVD.
    Oh, and as a rather good cook, if I must say so myself, may I suggest using Dettol, instead of bleach next time!!!

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Dispense with some gibberish!

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