The Boring Post #2


Today we’re going to be more boring than our boring post #1. Boredom is subjective. As such, we’re going to be objective about it.

We’re not really sure what that means, but… LET’S DO THIS! Oh, crap, sorry that was too exciting. Let’s do this… for the sake of apathy.

Boring, Boring, Boring

Okay. Let’s start by listing a few boring things. It’s going to be quite a long list. Brace yourselves, it may get a bit dull.

  • Grey.
  • Grey with fleck of lighter grey.
  • Grey t-shirts.
  • Grey trousers.
  • Grey cement (as opposed to pink cement).
  • Those sandwiches that are clearly really dry looking so you don’t buy them.
  • A bottle of obviously flat Coca-Cola.
  • Golf.
  • Golf with the players wearing grey.
  • Walking down a road that’s really long.
  • Wondering why 10 past two isn’t 10 passed two.
  • Fundamental grammar.
  • Fundamental grammur.
  • Fun, da mental grammar aiiiiiiiie.
  • Packets of pre-packaged cheese that you struggle to open.
  • Boring things.
  • Things that are boring.
  • Boredom.
  • Dr. Who.
  • Sleeves.
  • Ankles.
  • Ankle hair.
  • Toenails.
  • Toenail hair (if this is a thing).
  • Atom bombs (a bit old hat at this point).
  • Space travel (God, NASA, it was 50 years ago, get over this Moon crap).
  • Keys.

Okay. Look at those bullet points. Circles of circular nature. They represent a mini-planet, say Earth, and are useful in keynoting stuff.

If you wanted to make that exciting, then bulletpoints would be made with a bazooka. Now, that may be passive voice… but we’re trying to be boring here. As such, we’re going to detail why bazookas are a bit dull.


Okay, in conflated fashion this is why those shooty boom things are more boring than you think.

What do you expect? We’ve got a heatwave here and we can’t think properly. We just want bazookas.

  • They are rigid. And that’s dull, like all rigid stuff is (such as cheese, even if it is slightly malleable).
  • They kill stuff. Which is boring at this point. Death and destruction is so last year.
  • Ummm…
  • Green. They’re usually green and who the hell wears that stupid colour (except for green colour enthusiasts)?
  • *Boom, kaboom, spchewwwwwww* Yeah, what time is Love Island on?
  • Notice any bazookas on Love Island? Of course not, it’s too exciting on that dull old pile of crap reality show!

This post was sponsored by Heatwaves ‘R’ Us, the only heatwave business in Manchester of the UK that ensures your creative and professional endeavours are utterly futile.

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Dispense with some gibberish!

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