The Wizard of Oz is about a wizard who lives in Australia. Way back in 2017 we did a “I’ve got a feeling we’re not in Kansas” type deal.

Now it’s the turn of “there’s no place like Kansas!” We’ve never been there. It’s in America, we take it, so we’re sure it’s proper belting.

Anyway, what if this line was all different, eh? That would have changed popular culture. And all that. So, let’s take a look.

There’s no place like home

Okay, the original in all its glory. There’s no place like home, apparently. What, Earth? Or Manchester? What if you have multiple passports?

There’s no place like Homme

As in, Josh Homme of the Queens of the Stone Age. We’ll leave that one up to you whether it’s a good thing or not.

There’s no place like Chrome

Google Chrome, yes! It’s the browser we use. The best in the known world!

Where did I put my comb?

Not really sure, dude. Plus you’re rapidly balding, maybe do a head shave?

There’s know place like home

Well, that’s just gramatically incorrect now, isn’t it?

I swear there’s no place like home

You swear do you? Go on, then!

Bastard!

Nicely done, sir. Very suave.

There’s no place like dome

If you live in a dome, sure. But most people don’t. Most people live in a bungalow, or a mud hut.

There’s no place like… [wait for it]… Rome

Yeah, way too easy this one. We’re not allowing it. Bolton of Greater Manchester is much better than Rome, anyway.

There’s no disgrace like Frome

Well indeed, especially if you’re one of those weirdo hoarding people who like to hoard copies of The Daily Mail or something.

There’s no space like home

As in, proper space? NASA style? Sure! We mean… space is space!

There’s no place like the Ozone layer

Yeah, it’s a pretty radical place to hang out, we’ve heard. Without it, we’d all be dead!

There’s no place like Jerome

Who the hell is Jerome?

There’s no place like the Y chromosome

Well, that’s debatable. Isn’t it? Subjective, one could say. The W Chromosome is pretty good as well. And we once enjoyed hanging out in the U chromosome. So maybe be a bit less (fewer?) narrow-minded.

There’s snow place like home

Okay. I guess this person lives in a snowy wonderland. Does The Wizard of Oz look like a snowy wonderland, fool?

There’s snow place like the catacombs

Okay. If you say so. Not some sort of sick and sordid weirdo, are you?

There’s nothing quite like styrofoam

Well, we’re betting that cake with cheese is much better. So, there you go. Stuff your bloody styrofoam!

There’s nothing quite like irritable bowel syndrome

Like IBM, IBS is thing that many people know about and have no real about either.

And finally…

There’s no place like dumb

Welcome to place Earth then, you sucker! You belong here with the rest of us. Mwahahaaha!