After an office move due to a diseased cabbage patch on the roof of the old place, Professional Moron is in the chaotic process of getting things back up to speed at the new address.

Rest assured. We’re still in Manchester, now in the beating heart of the city where we can bring you all cutting edge news on cutting edge things.

Such as the zombie knives the chavs lug around with them in Piccadilly Gardens.

Normal posting service will resume upon resumption, which should be as soon as possible (ASAP) or otherwise.

Although that’s likely next week at this point until we solve the following issues (please note, the following list goes off on a wild tangent):

• Why our esteemed editor, Mr. Wapojif, responds by blowing snot bubbles when we ask him why there’s no internet connection.
• The plug in the bathroom. What’s wrong with it?
• How come your entire world collapses these days once you have a week of no internet access?
• Remember the olden days when there was no internet? How did anyone bloody survive? Why isn’t the human race extinct?!
• Seriously, in the past if you needed to talk to a mate at school you’d have to use those dial-up phones. Then ring their house, with a strong possibility of them not even being there. Then if they are there, chat on the phone for a bit and organise something.
• Even more seriously, if this was a global thing for a single week—the collapse of civilization. Are we too reliant on the internet? Well!?

If you have any complaints about this lack of posting, please direct them to your nearest wall.

Alternatively, use the form below to send us invective, hatred, and whatever else enters your brain.

You can also alleviate Professional Moron withdrawal symptoms by reading our back catalogue of posts.