For now we appear to have overcome out technical issues and normal service is resumed (if our bloody laptop behaves itself).

So, with romantic Valentine’s Day on the way, let’s take a bit of a grotesque spin on all of that. Why? Because.

I Will Always Love Mucus

Whitney Houston’s moving take on always loving snot.

When Mucus Loves a Woman

Percy Sladge’s love song was also a sci-fi take on what happens when mucus becomes sentient and falls in love with a human female. Result? Not babies… bogeys!

You Make Mucus Fun

Fleetwood Mac song about why snot is a good thing.

I Think I Love Mucus

1980 hit by the Partridge Family. Here, the unadulterated love for snot became apparent.

What’s Mucus Got To Do With It?

Tina Turner’s smash hit from 1984 asks a realistic question—what does snot have to do with it? Rumour has it her song was written to challenge the annoying amount of bogey-related hits. The irony? It was a hit!

I’d Do Anything for Mucus (But I Won’t Do That)

Meat Loaf’s 1993 hit single confusingly explains he’ll do a lot of things for green nostril stuff. But not “that”. Whatever that is. Robbing a bank? Probably.

Whole Lotta Mucus

Led Zeppelin hit and Top of the Pops intro music thing. Lots of snot in this one. A whole lotta it.

(Everything I Do) I Do It For Mucus

Bryan Adams song for that old Robin Hood film with Kevin Costner. Apparently, Mr. Adams does everything in the name of bogeys. Noble stuff, sir.

How Deep is Your Mucus?

Erm… about as far back as our nostril canal bit goes. Back off with the personal questions!

Ain’t No Mucus High Enough

Damn straight. You can stack all the bogeys in the world atop each other and that ain’t high enough to make us go nowhere near it.

Will You Still Love Mucus Tomorrow?

Yeah, probably. Picking our noses is fun in a, sort of, gormless kind of way.

What is Mucus?

One hit wonder Haddaway’s smash hit back in the early 1990s. Asks the most pertinent question of our age. The answer? It’s nostril slime, Haddaway.

Mucus is Blue

Paul Mauriat hit from 1968—No.1 for five weeks! Confused many music fans about the genuine colour of snot for years after.

Mucus Will Tear Us Apart

Manchester’s Joy Division put a dramatic spin on the destructive quality of snot in all of our lives.

And finally…

I Want to Know What Mucus Is

Two weeks at No. 1 in 1984 for Foreigner—a power ballad strong enough to make even the most macho man cry his eyes out about not knowing what snot is. Stirring stuff.