Musicians usually have hair. This is an insult to the balding sect of men in the world. And we demand a revision of history to suit our needs!
You can also read our guide to going bald. Or just jam along to these funky little numbers.
Stairway to Male Pattern Balding
Led Zeppelin’s smash hit number. Note John Bonham and his drumming. Note the balding, too!
You Male Pattern Balding Thing
Hot Chocolate classic that Robert Carlyle went on to make popular again with The Full Monty. Indeed.
We Are Male Pattern Balding
Familial male pattern balding? Indeed. It’s a thing.
I Will Always Love Male Pattern Balding
Whitney Houston number about why she didn’t mind bald guys. That’s great to know, madam!
All I Want For Christmas Is Male Pattern Balding
Mariah Carey’s odd smash hit has a weird quality to it. Does she want male pattern balding? Wouldn’t that be woman pattern balding? Sort it out, Carey!
(Everything I Do) I Do It for Male Pattern Balding
Bryan Adams weepy number celebrating the joys of premature balding. We must presume this song, which supported the 1993 Robin Hood film, was to celebrate Friar John’s bald cranium.
I Want to Hold Your Male Pattern Balding
The Beatles here with one of their abandoned singles. It was dubbed, “Just way, way too weird!” by the establishment. And has been banned from the radio since the 1960s. Rock on.
A Whiter Shade of Male Pattern Balding
Procul Harum’s 1967 hit was all about greying and male pattern balding. A double combo of, “Gee, why am I old before me time?”
Tie a Yellow Ribbon Around the Male Pattern Balding
This mocking number of balding mens’ heads is a particularly insulting number to balding mens’ heads. Yellow?! Pink would be better!
Do They Know it’s Male Pattern Balding?
Bob Geldof’s post-Live Aid song which set out to support balding men around the globe. He helped to raise $100.
Male Pattern Balding O’Mine
Guns N’Roses hit with lots of shrieking and guys with big ’80s hair. Kind of contradicts the song’s message, no?
I Can’t Get No Male Pattern Balding
The Rolling Stones may have mocked bald blokes of the 1960s. But now they’re… still not bald. Hair transplants, fellas? Or you lanky bastards lucked out?
River Deep Male Pattern Balding High
Tina Turner hit from the 1960s. Seems a bit weird to sing about such a topic in a hair-obsessed era. Prescient!
I Wanna Dance With Somebody (Who Loves Male Pattern Balding)
Whitney Houston again. Why was she so obsessed with bald blokes? Whatever floats your boat, madam.
And finally…
With a Little Help From My Male Pattern Balding
The Beatles again with the landmark Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band number. Ringo did well here. Even though he wasn’t bald back in 1967.
A fab bunch of songs ruined by Male Pattern Balding.
However, you forgot “I’m Too Sexy For My Male Pattern Balding”. However, don’t worry, I still like you!
LikeLiked by 2 people
Thank you. Right Said Fred was bald enough already.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Oh! My ba(l)d! 😀
LikeLike
Fisticuffs. We’re overdue fisticuffs. This is Canada VS Manchester, madam.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Okay, you swim over here. Text when you arrive.
LikeLike
That’s a considerable amount of effort for fisticuffs. I might just settle for lamping one of my colleagues tomorrow morning.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Sounds good! Be Indiscriminate!
LikeLike
The good news is I bought some new clothes recently. But I’m mulling over whether my new jacket is too large. Seems ideal to get into some more fisticuffs over it!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Oh… kay…
LikeLike
Fisticuffs, madam. We’re long overdue. You just need to fund that $800 flight to Manchester and then figure out where Piccadilly Gardens is. And then go, “Well sod that, it’s gross!” And retreat to the NQ where the birdo graffiti is.
I just saved you the hassle!
LikeLiked by 1 person
…and the tussle! I give up. You are very cute! 😀
LikeLiked by 1 person
I may be cute but I’m also ANGRY and VIOLENT and I shall take this out on my blog with further nonsensical rambling!
LikeLiked by 1 person
I expect nothing less than a flamethrower!
LikeLiked by 1 person
MWahahaha!
LikeLike
Don’t forget The Who’s anthem to early onset hair loss: “The kids are all male pattern balding right”
LikeLiked by 1 person
That and “Male Pattern Balding Generation”.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Ha! Brilliant. It is but the destiny of them all…
LikeLiked by 1 person
You also forgot the Rod Stewart fave “Do You Think I’m Balding?”
You are cute ,I’ll be annoyed because Resa got to make brownie points soon as I leave town. They probably have Marmite in them.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Uh? Yeah, whatever! Tuesday post, dammit, surrealist art and poetry!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Oh, ok.
LikeLike
Or not. Up to you. Hey, I’m not paying you $10 to go there.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Then make it $20.
LikeLike
Nah. $2. That goes a long way in America!
LikeLiked by 1 person
A long way!
LikeLike
One jar of Marmite.
LikeLike
Not even that. $18.00 for a jar of Marmite. So you bought a new jacket. Cool.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yes. Well, “bought”. Stole is probably more accurate, to be honest. The old grab and run technique! Welcome to Manchester.
LikeLike