
So, you know all about Dr. Bob’s Barmy Botox Boutique! Well, here at Professional Moron we like to provide you with many options to waste your money.
And it turns out a new business opened right next door to Dr. Bob’s Barmy Botox Boutique. One selling Botox removal. What are the chances of that?!
It’s the perfect way to immediately obliterate your Botox if you happen to not like the procedure’s effects. Hurray!
Obliterate Your Botox Today!
You may find yourself walking out of a Botox clinic, looking into a mirror, and thinking, “Well shit a brick, I look like a goddamn monster!”
Oh dear! The Botox went wrong… never mind!
Because at Barmy Bill’s Bonkers Botox Removal you can have the botulin suctioned from your face with immediate results!
We operate a 24/7 walk-in practice where you can sit waiting in the waiting room until it’s your turn.
Then, for a mere £1,000, Dr. Bill will jam a vacuum up your backside and suck out all that fancy garbage!*
You can then alight from the practice with your face 90% back to normal! Now go and do it the proper way at Dr. Fred’s Frenzied Facelift Enterprises.
After you’ve shopped with us, you’ll get a 10% discount on your first facelift with Dr. Fred. Yes! What a bargain! Whoo!
* Do note, the vacuum procedure may also result in the loss of some of your small and large intestines.
Get a FREE Donut!
When attending Barmy Bill’s Bonkers Botox Removal, you’ll be able to claim a completely free donut! As opposed to a partially free donut, that’s an absolutely amazing deal!!
Some of the fillings we have on offer include:
- Chocolate.
- Marmite.
- Horseradish.
- Mushroom.
- Cement dust.
- Botulin (as a, sort of, in-joke).
- Banana and sardines.
- No filling.
Read the fine print below to claim this life-changing opportunity!
Free Donut Legal Disclaimer
As part of your free donut deal, there are stipulations you must follow to claim your foodstuff. These are:
- Registering on our website to claim your free donut code. Your free code will read along the lines of: BOTOXDONUT1111111.
- Ensure you bring the code with you to the practice. If you do not, there is no donut for you.
- The donut must be consumed while on Barmy Bill’s Bonkers Botox Removal premises.
- If you consume the donut off our official premises (such as outside in the car park), you will be permanently banned from entering the clinic ever again and you will receive no further free donuts.
- You can only claim one free donut per visit.
- There is no guarantee of donut freshness. We reserve the right to serve you donuts that may be months old. It is at your discretion to pick lumps of mould and/or maggots out of the donut you receive.
- If you attempt to exploit this deal by pretending to want your Botox removed, or if you have never even had Botox, you will be gunned down on our premises with a bazooka.
- Should you choke on the donut in the clinic, the Heimlich manoeuvre and any resuscitation methods will be charged to your bill.
A Marmite filled donut?
That’s illegal in Canada!
Now, a pureed pot filled donut is100% legal!
Canadian cuisine goes beyond being tasty!
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Look, lady, do you want your free donut or not!? Tomato puree in a donut sounds tempting though. Good call! Even Canadian Geese would like that.
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Yuch.. okay I’ll take one, for the geese!
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GOOD! Although the thing about geese is they take the food from you like it’s their RIGHT. And then they HISS at you. Crazy damn fools!
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No poo involved?
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Poo always has something to do with everything, lady.
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Hmm, so says Bukowski. Very hip of you to recognize such a deep philosophy.
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My philosophy about sandwiches is the crust (crux) of the problem, apparently.
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