Will Yawning Kill Us All?!

Joseph Ducreux, a portraitist at the court of Louis XVI of France, pandiculates his ass off.

Professional Moron’s very own Mr. Wapojif was yawning a lot on Friday, and he thunked to himself, “Just what the hell is a ‘yawn’, anyway?” So, today, on Sunday, he has decided to have a look at all the available scientific online resources and he discovered a startling discovery; it’s contagious! Indeed, as you may have noticed, when you observe someone yawning you often feel obliged to yawn too, and even those scumbag animals have been known to have the same affliction. Although we’ve never seen a giraffe yawn, or a Great White Shark for that matter, it must happen at some stage and, my word, maybe that’s why Basking Sharks always have their mouths hanging wide open. Anyway, yawning is often attributed to tiredness, boredom, stress, and scientific studies link it to the cooling of the brain. Is this why, during the cold of night, we yawn more? Or is it because we know, at say 11pm, we won’t be eating any spam until the following day? Such lack of stimulation could prompt a yawn. Also, if you want to fling a fancy word around this week, “pandiculation” is the art of yawning and stretching simultaneously. So, if you wanted to be evil, you could call your cat Pandiculation and, whenever it stretched and yawned, you could say its name and it’d look at you all confused. Haha! Then you could give it a prawn to make up for being so evil.

“So is yawning a depraved disease which will see humanity fall!?!?” I hear you all screaming. Well, no. We’re pretty sure no one has ever died from yawning, unless they were too busy in the process of it all and walked off a cliff, or something. The simple fact right now is our finest scientists don’t really know why animals yawn. There are theories which attempt to explain the primary evolutionary cause; Mr. Wapojif (using his GCSE Science grade B brain to stir up the yawning community) postulated a yawn potentially being a way of getting more oxygen into the bloodstream, thusly waking oneself up. He also considered the notion a yawn being the indication of a coded message from aliens pertaining to an impending invasion. Either way, contagious or not, yawning’s an interesting human aside. Luckily it’s also not going to bring on the apocalypse. Hurrah!

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