Okay, so what is up with this nonsense? Absurdity, surreal humour, and silliness are what we’re about.
We offer a post a day (going live at 18:00 BST) on arbitrary oddness, culture, and other things.
On Saturdays, there’s a book review or random curiosity that goes live at 17:00 BST (we also have a literary review site called Moonshake Books you may want to check out). And we do two posts on Sunday about video games.
Why do we bother? As we hope to enlighten our readers and provide, above all else, a slice (like that from a very nice cake) of fun and enjoyment in life. We find this to be a bold and honourable endeavour.
Please note, no sandwiches were harmed in the making of this blog.
Staff
Editor: Mr. Wapojif

Our esteemed editor is responsible for our content calendar and many, many ideas. He manages the Professional Moron staff with an iron fist.
His mood is capricious, and he’s a bit weird, but his creative vision is such that it’s enough to make most grown men weep.
Office Pet: Murray the Hamster

Behold the glory that is Murray the hamster! He’s our resident rodent—we go to him for all hamster-based content and questions. He’s an expert!
A few Murray facts! He turned one in April 2022. He likes broccoli, pumpkin seeds, and running in his wheel.
Our Headquarters
Our office is located in Manchester city centre, in the UK, where a ragtag bunch of journalists (plus one beleaguered apprentice suffering from PTSD) attempt to keep this sinking ship afloat.
We’re facing a tough time of it in this austerity-stricken country. Please, send us your cash!
About Our Images
Just to note, if you were wondering, we use the brilliant graphic design platform Canva to create all of our images.
Give it a go! It’s great (no, we’re not sponsored by them—we just like promoting excellent stuff).
Get in Touch
Should you need to get in touch with us, for one reason or another, you can use the below form. It’s easy to use. And free. Honest.
Just wanted to let you know that I nominated you for The Beautiful Blogger Award! I know this is a bit silly, but I wanted to help promote your wonderful blog. 🙂 Congratulations, G. E.
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Thank you, Mz. G.E. we are honourerered to the total max by this. May a thousand batches of sashimi be delivered to your doorstep by some sushi expert dude from the afar wilderness of Tokyo. There’s actually a sushi film out called Jiro Dreams of Sushi. Not seen it yet but it’s supposed to be very good!
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Yay, you very much deserve this nomination!! 😀 I’ll be on the lookout for that sashimi, ha ha ha. I’d be a bit worried if Jiro showed up though… –G. E.
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I love reading your blog so I have nominated you for a Liebster Award!
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Awesome! Thanking you, madam. I somehow missed this comment a while ago. Rectified now, though. High five!
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Loving the blog and just plain love the blog name. Puts mine to shame 😉 Hot damn. Looking forward to learning and laughing more here.
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Awesome, thanking yee muchly. We do spout some dangerously insane theories at times, so approach from a distance (and perhaps wear a hat for added protection). Other than this, all should be well! Innit. Yo yo!
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[…] 7. Professional Moron: … Follow the blog. Just do it. Don’t think too hard about the posts. Just laugh. And then let the deceptive moronism slowly overwhelm your brain. Recommended reading: “Apocalypse Scenarios We’d Heartily Embrace!” […]
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I checked Good Reads and nowhere did I find “Hitchiker’s Guide to the Universe” – an oversight, I presume?
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Most certainly. I once hitchhiked through the universe. It was terrifying. Aliens everywhere, and Dr. Who!
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Have to say Paul is way cool! More geometric shapes should be utilized more often by teams. I am sure The Pentagon helps you all celebrate and rally together when needed.
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Paul The Pentagon is indifferent to your praise, but I’m chuffed you like him and will give the guy a hefty whack on the pack to encourage him to grin a little.
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He he, made me laugh. As they say, speak the truth and shame the devil.’ We all need a good laugh, sometimes 🙂
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Awesome! Glad you had fun, Bruce!
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Noodles.
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Oodles of noodles!
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OMG! I had no idea how … erm … handsome the King, um, I mean Mr Wapojif is.
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Yeah, this is how I usually dress up most mornings so it’s a fairly accurate representation.
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Hi! Thank you for stopping by my blog. You have a funny and great one! Looking forward to reading more 🙂 – Faye
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Thank you very much! I do try my best. More sushi posts from you are most welcome! Have a great weekend.
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There will definitely be more! You too 🙂 – Faye
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Hi Mr. Wapojif, I have nominated you for both the Mystery and Versatile Blogger Awards! Thank you for sharing with us your silliness and humorous adventures! We look forward to more of your beautiful posts. Nominated you.
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Ta very much! I’ve no idea what that is, but I’ll check it out. Is there a cash reward? I accept cheques and, if it’s a substantial amount of a few million, please forward it discreetly. Thank you!
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Hahahaha! 🙂
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HAPPY NEW YEAR, dear Alex – 2020 🎉❦🎉
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Merci, madam! Have a proper belting one. x
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xx
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Ey up to Manc frum Belper in Durbyshire!
I ‘ope you find my Blogs on lasses o’ Golden East and dead fit Valérie Čižmárová at ‘Bananas Fer Breakfast’ as dead good as I’ve found yorn!
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Ey up, mate. Ta very much on that one, don’t know who Valérie Čižmárová is but I Googled her and enriching meself in fresh knowledge now!
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Yer welcome!
I didn’t know who Valérie Čižmárová was until as recently as 26th August 2015 eether!
It was a serious case of, “This one’s not bad!” (photo at ‘Discogs’), followed by “Not bad at all!” (front cover of LP), followed by “Oh my word!!!”, the last of those being the rear cover photo for her 1975 LP by Vladivoj Burjanek, who I think just did those two photos in his entire photographic career, but that’s still quite some career in my eyes! I also fell in love (or maybe just a little lust!) with the one of her with some Czechoslovak soldiers based in East Germany in 1974 wearing an army cap at a very jaunty angle over her cascading blonde locks, which was, in a way, even sexier. I thought of the classic Hollywood bombshells of Wartime such as Betty Grable straight away.
That rear cover photo introduced me to what I am attempting to ‘patent’, like the ‘Daisy Dukes’ hot pants of ‘The Dukes Of Hazzard’ fame, as ‘Valinkas’ – scalloped-hemmed, high-waisted, black suede hot pants. The closest I’ve come to them was thanks to the ‘Internet It Girl’, Kristina Bazan, who is pretty dead fit herself. They were in black satin, though, which is another sexy fabric. She’s also from that great source of some of the fittest women on the Planet, Eastern/Central Europe, having been born in Belarus, but now living in Switzerland.
Oh, also on 26th August 2015 I discovered Valérie Čižmárová’s sometime theatrical colleague, Miluška Voborníková, who isn’t bad eether. She was born on Christmas Day 1949, in ‘Škoda City’, Mladá Boleslav, so I’m also trying to ‘patent’ ‘Miluškamas’. There was a headline at some Czech celebrity site about her saying, “She wore the shortest mini-skirts and the men went crazy for her.” On that continuing theme of celebrities sharing birthdays who should have been born also on ‘Miluškamas’ 1949 but that other quite fit product of the Central/Eastern European diaspora, Sissy Spacek, whom I especially fancied as Liz Garrison in ‘JFK’. It could be ‘Sissymas’, too!
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I miss the Name of the Year bracket!
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Bracket would be an excellent name.
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