The Worst Pizzas In The World

A pizza lady shows off her pizza skills. Sadly, on this occasion, the dough was caught by a violent gust of wind and ended up being blasted out of the Earth’s atmosphere. hard luck, luv. Nice pink shirt, though.

Yep, it’s that thyme of week everyone! If you’re feeling hungry we do apologise as this list of repugnant (morally and physically) pizzas will probably make you nauseous and violent. Feel free to take out all of your fury on a pillow and/or a bouncer. The latter deserve it as, let’s face it, bouncers are the thickest of the thick and, really, if they were to follow their actual job description they wouldn’t be allowed inside the club at any point. Bloody thugs.

But this is about pizza, not idiotic bouncers! We all love a good pizza, right? Exactly. Everyone, probably even that psychopath The Queen, likes a pizza from time to time. Our very own Mr. Wapojif makes a mean homemade pizza (he makes the dough out of flour, you know!) and has wowed many prison inmates with his handy cooking skills.

Not that we’ve ever been in prison, but we do frequent them to point and laugh at the pathetic lowlifes!  Of course, once they’re released on parole, they become bouncers until they, inevitably, end up behind bars again. Cyclical patterns for perpetual stupidity, thusly is the cycle of life circled like a great big circular pizza thing.

The Worst Pizzas in the World!

This looks more like the plague in action than a tasty pizza.
There’s just something so thoroughly insipid about this. Meat and olives… it’s just wrong.
We’ve used this one in a previous “Gross Food” post, but it’s worth putting in again for its sheer putridness.
Vast, like Jupiter, this one will swallow you whole and then move onto its next victim.
Burnt, dry, and ruddy grotesque.
Dry and weird.
Another Golden Oldie – French Fry Pizza!
A pizza… or a festering boil?
Indeed.
This chef possibly overdid the toppings a bit.
“Meat Pizza” we are reliably informed. Yes.
Tragically, this slice of pizza was frazzled to death. Not even a morbidly obese person would eat this!
We’re not really sure what this is supposed to be.
A splat of stuff to make up a festering boil.
This thing has what looks like a raw egg at its centre. Glovely.
Leftovers… you know, the moment when you wish you hadn’t eaten an entire pizza by yourself.
It just looks wrong, really. Not pretty.
A swimming pool of BLOOD!
Greasy, gross, and badly mixed.
Gross.
We have no idea what’s going on here.
This is a slice of chocolate pizza.
Jackson Pollock’s No. 5, or a disaster of a pizza?
Was Jackson Pollock inspired by dodgy pizzas? We’ll never know.
This thing doesn’t seem to have been cooked yet. Looks tasty, right?
This is just bloody lazy, guy.
Completely overdone and weird looking.
The savage effects of sunburn… oh, wait, sorry, it’s a pizza!
Last of all, it’s a fried Mega Maggot with blood sauce! This is also known as a Calzone (a folded up pizza).

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