Indeed, your ears do not deceive you. Friday 17th of July 2014 will see temperatures in the UK shoot up to 30 degrees Excelsior.

For one day only. From Saturday 18th July 2014 the temperature will plummet back down to 20 degrees Excelsior, and this had us thinking. Why is this heatwave only going to hang around for 24 hours? What kind of ulterior motives does a heatwave have, other than to make everyone feel clammy and uncomfortable?

Our theory is this particular heatwave is in such a rush as it wants to be less of a hindrance to folk. A polite heatwave, as it were.

Most heatwaves are obnoxious, tedious, irritating things which are unwelcome but overstay their, er, stay out of sheer spite. This one is apologetic, eager to get out of everyone’s hair, and blast out into the Atlantic Ocean where it won’t be a nuisance.

Polite, non? Very British, too. We doff our hats to you, Heatwave of July 2014.

We shall endure your presence tomorrow, then wave you off into the sunset. It shall be glorious!