Pikmin 3: Brilliance Through Obedient Alien Monsters

Pikmin 3
Pikmin 3 is one heck of a brilliant game, you know.

Ah, Pikmin 3. Like old fuddy duddies we often lament certain aspects of the contemporary games industry. The mainstream is saturated in hyper violent shoot-em-ups, most of which have a detrimental preoccupation with graphics, as well as being plagued with endless cut scenes with the most awful dialogue imaginable. Bizarrely these titles are considered “mature gaming”, despite many of their fans being kids or puerile teenagers who behave like this: “Pew pew pew! PEW! PEW! Pew! BOOOOOM! Gay! Noobie scum! Gay! Pew pew pew!” The industry is struggling to be accepted artistically on a wide cultural scale, with little wonder when you behold such odd behaviour and tedious shooty kill boom kill action.

Thankfully there are plenty of endlessly imaginative developers out there, one of which remains the ever brilliant Nintendo. This is why Professional Moron headed to the Wii U for this generation of consoles, and our decision was vindicated throughout 2014 with an endless selection of classic new games. Today we’re looking at the critically acclaimed 2013 release Pikmin 3, a lesser known title in the Nintendo catalogue. It was created by benevolent creative genius Shigeru “Shigsy” Miyamoto (the brain behind pretty much every classic game from Nintendo since 1977) after he observed ants going about their duties in his garden.

In the game the player controls tiny alien astronauts who crash land on a planet; they must obtain food from the vicinity in order to survive. You soon stumble upon, and acquire, an army of unconditionally obedient plant creatures whom need your leadership. You promptly go about using the various species of Pikmin to obtain food and traverse environments, in so doing you keep the rather directionless little beasts alive. Essentially it’s a strategy title with an emphasis on racing against time, as you have to get into hiding each night to escape dangerous animals. It’s wonderful, frankly, and as quirky and charming as any decent human being could ruddy well demand.

To convey its real charm we’ve stuck a clip below – have a gander. As with many Nintendo games some confuse the aesthetics with childishness. “It’s a kiddy game!”, they grunt vacuously. Negative, human person! It’s remarkable escapist fun; a strategy game which demands brains, skill, and occasional visits to the kettle to brew some tea. Whilst the PS4 may be selling like Justin Bieber records, sit back for a moment and consider a touch of diversity and fun in your life. Praise be to Nintendo and Pikmin 3 for allowing this.


    • It’s possibly the most adorable game ever, but I do feel bad when any of the wee things get in trouble. I wish I could dive into the TV to save them, although my understanding of reality is this isn’t possible. Dang.

      Happy New Year, by the way!


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