Should Scientists Bring The Dodo Back To Life?

The birds were renowned for their moronic friendliness.
The birds were renowned for their moronic friendliness.

The dodo: an extinct flightless bird from a bygone era synonymous with complacent stupidity. To be kind of exact, the dodo went extinct circa 1662 due to a mixture of circumstantial circumstances. Like Elvis, though, many believe the birds still exist elsewhere on Earth (such as with Elvis in his secret grotto 100 miles underground). This is an irrational hope born out of irrationality. They’re extinct. Gone. Dead as a doo doo (lol).

Other flightless birds are still around if you want to go and point and laugh at some. These include penguins, maggots, and the hippopotamus. It’s not quite the same as having a dodo around, we must admit. Damn and blast it, sailors stumbled across them hundreds of months ago and (through a combination of deforestation, hunting, the introduction of new animals, and drunken karaoke) drove the poor SOBs to extinction. It’s a shame, and the closest you can get to a dodo these days is seeing one in a museum. Like the dude pictured above, whom has been fitted with a colloquial language chip which can greet visitors.

We’ve all seen Jurassic Park, though. Could scientists bring the dodo back to life? If they did we’d like to see them splice together the genes of the dodo with the woolly mammoth, thusly creating a gigantic Super Species which could be known as the Doolly Mammodo. Imagine it: a 20ft high dodo with a trunk, tusks, and masses of fur! We’re all for this – it’d be great to have the dodo back. “They” could even splice dodos with other stuff. How about the Kermode bear (it could be dubbed the Kermodo). Steven Spielberg would then pick up the rights for the film, and before long Jeff Goldblum, Sam Neil, and Laura Dern will be starring in Howard The Dodo, the long awaited sequel to the ’80s box office disaster Howard The Duck. It would be just… just fantabulous!

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