It is I, Mr. Wapojif, fresh out of a stint of police questioning! Well my World Domination stuff went badly wrong. I shan’t bore you with the details but the horrified police officers detained me for several days to make a decision about whether I was clinically insane or not. Happily it turns out I’m perfectly normal – just a bit eccentric. Who would have believed it? I know everyone in the Professional Moron office has been quite alarmed by this news.
So, onwards, what ho! As you have read in the title today I am pondering the possibilities of probable percentage perceived performance pertaining perhaps, provided pondering persists, perenially per possibility pending. That’s enough of the alliteration. Yes! We have… well, I have decided to contemplate what would happen if the mountain of mountains, that’s Mount Everest (or Mr. Mount Everest to you and I), fell over. Now Truman Trumanson levelled this immediately; “That’s pretty simple to solve – Mount Everest is not going to fall over.” And some could argue that he has a point. The thing does look fairly stable. It’s not exactly in a Leaning Tower of Pisa situation.
To test this potential disastrous possibility I sent a text message to one of those text message companies that respond to your requests with facts and information about stuff. Basically they raid Wikipedia and send you a message thinking they’re being all smart. To the above question “they” responded with, “If Mount Everest fell over there would be giant tsunamis and earthquakes that would cause great devastation to the local community.” This isn’t a verbatim recital, I should state, but it is 80% what they said. So, ruddy ‘eck, if the thing does fall over we’re in for one hell of a rough time by the sounds of it. We (well, I, as the other still think this is absurd) drew up a list of reasons why Moun Everest could topple:
1. Inebriation – If Mount Everest has been out on the lash one evening there’s always the possibility it could have a drunken tumble. We’ve all been there. Even The Queen. Solution? Mount Everest must go teetotal.
2. Stupidity – No one has ever done an IQ test for Mount Everest. It could be a bit of a dumbo and, as we all know, morons have great difficulty in walking around properly. Solution? We need to educate Mount Everest! To pre-school with yee!
3. Boredom – Mount Everest really hasn’t had much to do over numerous millenia. It must get a bit boring just sort of being there all imposing. The only highlight must be watching crazed mountaineers scaling you. Solution? We need to stick a big screen up for it to watch the latest movies.
The moral of the story? Don’t let Mount Everest fall over!