When will there be a McDonald’s on Mount Everest?

A McDonald's on Mount Everest
Burgers like this will soon be available on Mount Everest.

It is oft ruminated if the Kwakwaka’wakw Tribe (helpfully they’re also known as the Kwakiutl) of British Columbia have ever had a Big Mac. “No” would probably be the response, followed by, “What is a Big Mac?” in their very confusing language. Rollocks to them, though, as the rest of the world utterly adores McDonald’s and we want nothing more in life than to sit around stuffing our stupid faces with Ronald McDonald’s food. Here are some cold facts to enrich your life with:

1 – McDonald’s is the biggest fast food chain in the Universe (probably), serving some 68 million human beings a day across 119 countries. American Don Gorske is their best customer. The 59 year old has eaten 26,000 Big Macs!
2 – The business began in 1940 and now has a yearly revenue (after expenses) of around 4-5 billion squid (these are the 2011 figures, anyway).
3 – There are around 34,000 McDonald’s restaurants spread sporadically across the globe, which begs the question – why the hell isn’t there a McDonald’s on Mount Everest?

McDonald’s on Mount Everest?

An artist's impression.
An artist’s impression.

The thunderous allure of Mrs. Mount Everest is drawing in more and more folk, even though the cost of getting up the thing is around the price of a Porsche (allegedly). In May 2012 there were 300 climbers alone all attempting to go up the thing at the same time.

Indeed, a total of 683 climbers attempted to get up the 29,000 ft mountain in 2012 – four of them died. This was the biggest loss since a dozen lost their lives in a freak storm in 1996. We all know the immense perils of climbing this monstrous entity, but to be able to have a Big Mac at the highest point on Earth would be the very definition of what it is to be a human being.

Sir Edmund Hillary and Tenzing Norgay first reached the summit on May 29th, 1953. Since then 3,836 have attempted to scale it, with around 1,000 succeeding. In May of 2012 pictures of a swarm of climbers heading up Mount E. led to ridicule of the “Amusement Park” the once feared mountain had become.

ETA?

We feel this is a perfect opportunity for McDonald’s to step in! Let’s face it, they’re never really going to have the best public image of any major organisation out there. We can think of no better boost to their world conquering antics than to have a McDonald’s slap bang on the summit, manned by a brave crew ready to serve the world’s wealthy with Big Macs and fries. I’m lovin’ it!

Will there be a McDonald’s on Mount Everest’s summit in 2013? We hope so! We sincerely hope so. As you can see in the picture above (drawn by the artistic genius Mr. Wapojif) this is how the McDonald’s store will look on this most glorious of natural occurrences (volcanoes, rocks, and gravity etc.) and we can only hope, one day soon, Ronald McDonald will be flaunting his stuff from the summit. Closely followed by Starbucks and Walmart!

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