Do Light Bulbs Live Forever?

A light bulb looking like it's trying to keep its life going
Go for it, mate!

Light bulbs are incredibly tricky things. Get it wrong and you could kill yourself and end up dead. And, by Jove, what a nuisance that would be!

It was Albert Camus who once opined that the most ridiculous way to die would be in a car crash (ironically he died in a car crash in 1960).

That was in The Myth of Sisyphus, if we remember correctly. However we would argue to Mr. Camus (not belligerently) that standing stark naked in the bath whilst changing a light bulb and inadvertently murdering yourself would be high up on the list of ridiculousness.

Light Bulb & Lifespans

Here at Professional Moron I, Mr. Wapojif, have been thinking all day about the remarkable light bulb. I do feel very sorry indeed when one of my light bulb friends snuffs it.

So sad that I have, on occasion, eaten the deceased light bulb. The sheer brevity of this action (I passed out fairly quickly due to blood loss) was what stunned me the most.

“Wow!”, I thought, “the light bulb is all knowing and all seeing!” So, lo, here is the truth about light bulbs!

Light Bulbs invented themselves in 1900 out of a mixture of aspic and salt. After these initial designs failed to aid their general lighting ability they decided to go with glass and wire. The rest is history.

However, their initial goal was somewhat misanthropic for, you see, the Light Bulbs had evil deeds in their brains.

They wished to take over the world and, lo, silly humans with no concept of electricity/water death knowledge succumbed to electrocution. The silly sods.

Of course these days we all know better, but back in 1900 humans were a lot more stupid than they are today.

How so? Well, for a start humans back then hadn’t even invented a proper stapler. Can you imagine that?

Having to hold two pieces of paper together instead of clamp them one with a staple? These days we have Staple Guns to sort out this ancient problem. A giant leap for humankind.

Anyway, the point of this post is to prove that, sadly, all light bulbs must expire at some point. So, no, they do not live forever.

Then what happens to old light bulbs? Well they go in the bin, and a bin’s contents usually end up at some landfill site in the middle of nowhere!

Do not feel sad for the light bulbs as they aren’t really sentient beings.

2 comments

    • Indeed, Imelda, I think that’s possibly the first time “Albert Camus”, “Light Bulbs”, “Staples”, and “Electrocution” have ever appeared alongside each other. We’re all about firsts here.

      Like

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