Fish and Chips: Why British People Love It So Much

A plate of fish and chips
The legend that is.

Fish & chips is the cornerstone of life in England. In fact, it wouldn’t be England unless there’s a chippy within 5ft of your person at all times.

This particular British idiosyncrasy may appear a touch odd to foreigners; “Just why do they regard this simplistic meal with such manic fervency?” they coo.

In a foreign accent, of course. Well the simple fact is we love fish and chips because it’s simple stodge, and in its simplicity it is homely and uncomplicated. Just the way some Brits like these things.

The Key Components of Fish & Chips

To celebrate this most excellent of meals we take an in depth look at the intricacies of making one of the most famous meals in the whole of the Universe!

What goes into that there meal? We reveal all.

The Fish

Fish are integral to Fish & Chips. Otherwise it would just be Chips. And that would be an incorrect order. Luckily most Fish & Chip shops remember to include fish with their order.

However, as the Earth’s oceans are being drained of fish by the fish hungry population of the globe, eventually we could run out. Alternatives will have to be thought up:

Luckily, the list appears to be endless! But English people will stick to the traditional one for now.

Chips

These are made from frying potatoes in 1000 degree Celsius oil that, if you were to spill on yourself, would cause unending agony. Luckily we have robots to make the chips, these are known as chip shop owners.

These robots are designed by Microsoft and cost $1 million per “chef”. The potatoes are grown on enormous acres of land known as “farms”.

Farmers enjoy making potatoes as they don’t make noises, crap everywhere, and generally they can be controlled by the simple use of water.

Vinegar

This substance provides a sort of taste to the overall meal. It’s made out of salt, aspic, cheese, spirit vinegar, and vinegar.

Vinegar is found on special types of vine which, whence they rustle in the wind, make a sound.

But vinegar is very nice and also makes for a neat little packet of crisps. Indeed.

Salt

De rigueur with any Fish & Chips meal is lashings of huge amounts of salt.

Mountains of the stuff. Without salt (and vinegar) a fish and chip meal would be like trying to eat cornflakes without any milk. Just thoroughly impossible, guy.

2 comments

  1. And what about gravy? There is no point in having fish and chips if there is no gravy. It makes the chips moist and that is vital.
    You could have elaborated further on gravy also – in the so-called “sophisticated south” of England, you can’t get gravy for love nor money. No where do they sell gravy at the fish and chips shops. The fools. It means Ms Dude has to make her own gravy whenever she buys fish and chips. Curry is available in the south, but it’s not the same as gravy. Whereas in the north, gravy is a given.
    1-0 to the north of England.

    Like

    • Our reasoning for this was, simply, due to our belief that Gravy cannot be mentioned in its purest form as it may upset the Gravy Gods. Examples of this down the years include the great Ham Sandwich Disaster of 1662. However, to satisfy your disappointment, Dude, we will not forgo the opporunity to mention gravy this time. We will, perhaps, honour Gravy at a later date.

      Like

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