Burger Special: To Infinity… and Beyond

Last week today we did a Fried Breakfast special. Today we’re doing a Burgers one. Now we’d classify many of the burger pictures we’ve chosen (they’re all copyright free, we’ll have you know) as looking a bit ill, or perhaps they’d just make you a bit ill if you ate them. We’ve also decided to go with burgers as, you know, the whole horsemeat thing in England has been amusing us greatly. If you’ve failed to pick up on this here’s the lowdown; firms have been using horsemeat in products which claim to be beef. Scandal? Yes. Fun? Yes. Hurrah!

Now we’re not sure why we used the Toy Story/Buzz Lightyear quote to promote today’s blog post, but looking at it now it just feels so right. Burgers are, after all, one of the most popular food things on planet Earth and we’re here to mock it derisorily. And why not? This selection of burgers will probably put you off your dinner, but there are one or two which we do give the thumbs up, so don’t go accusing us of being racist! So, hoist thy bibs up and fasten thy kilts for this is one heck of a Burger Special. For England, James?

Burger Special!

We get things rolling with this onion bland-a-thon. How dry would this be? 7/10 dryness. And the bread looks… well, rubbish!
A lot of spare blood and one gherkin? Gloriously stupid.
This one looks okay until you think just how dry and bland it looks. No. No, we’re not rating this at all.
We refer to this one as the “Disaster” as it looks so gross. Note the person is picking it up tentatively like it’s got some sort of disease. Which it probably has.
This has to be the world’s most brooding burger ever. It just oozes menace.
These look alright but, really, bland-a-thon! Where’s the veg and all that?
Dry and fried to oblivion, this looks about as healthy as eating semtex.
It’s the sauce on the fries which startled us here, plus the dinky nature of the burger. A bit harsh, eh? Maybe it’s the diet version. And we are presuming that’s a sauce on the chips… maybe it’s actually someone’s brains.
A burger cunningly disguised as a birthday cake. Whoo!
A very ill looking burger and very dry looking chips.
Bruce the Hamburger was, sadly, infected with gangrene and swelled out beyond normal proportions.
Caviar on a slice of watermelon. We’re not sure why this ended up in our burger list…
Here’s one of the artsy shots Fast Food restaurants do. Of course the one you buy won’t actually look like this.
We presume this burger is receiving brain surgery.
Whoever made this simply does not understand the concept of what the “burger” is.
This looks decent enough, and you get a free omlette.
Another stylish attempt which, frankly, looks a bit weird.
We can’t decide whether this looks nice or not.
O… m… g…
Glovely. Oozzzzing cheeeseee…
Now this looks like the “Gourmet Burger” we used to serve in a pub I worked in 5 years back. Try and get your gob around that.
This is either infected with something unspeakable or it’s a bit of beetroot.
Last but not least, a putrid looking thing with no desirability at all.

Dispense with some gibberish!

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