Sickly Friday: The Donut Extravaganza!

Do you like donuts? Well you probably won’t after today’s post. Indeed, although (like any normal human being) Mr. Wapojif would love nothing more than to gorge on vast amounts of unhealthy crap, he would also like to maintain his Arnold Schwarzenegger-esque physique (this is a possible lie), keep his arteries unclogged, and generally be fit and healthy.

However, despite his interest in bad-for-you food and desserts, donuts have never really appealed to Mr. Wapojif (or, indeed, the Professional Moron staff – particularly Beans the Chinese Dwarf Hamster).

We are aware, though, these sugary, doughy things are of particular fancy to Americans, and other countries. Over in England we’ve recently been INUNDATED with Krispy Kreme donut stores. They’re popping up everywhere, following in da footsteps of McDonald’s, Subway, and… others. Like Coca Cola. See, we thought of another one!

Anyway, we figured many of you might fancy a donut de temps en temps. WELL! Have a gander at these sickly buggers and we figure you’d probably have something healthier and less nauseating. Is correct? We hope so – if you go on a donut consuming frenzy after this donut blame us, dammit.

We were trying to assuage your lust for the things. Seriously, have an avocado instead, you know? Indeed, so remember this! This selection of donutery badness is meant to put you off eating the stuff. Not the opposite. Have we hammered the point home enough? GOOD! So onwards, comrade!


The bottom left one doesn’t have a jam filling. It’s its braiiiinss!
Bacon and Donut is always a healthy option.
Hurrah, it’s a Donut Burger!
Variety is the spice of life, eh?
Grease balls and love heart donuts!
Homer Simpson eats a lot of these in The Simpsons.
So it’s white blog or green blob topped donut? And look at the grease stain they leave behind!
We’d probably go for the pink one.
So much choice!
Another Donut Burger.
So many donuts…..
Custard donuts. One with its innards spilling out everywhere. Doesn’t it make you proud to be an Earthling?
Here’s one of the new fangled donut stores. Donnutsss!
We reckon this lot would be too much of an annoyance to eat in one sitting. Best to use a blending machine and just have it all as one drink.
This bad boy looks a bit ill.
Calorie wise these evil gits aren’t that bad, which is why many companies run with “ONLY 200 CALORIES!!!!” on chocolate bars. The calories may be light, but everything else is disastrous. This type of donut is around 290 calories, but totals 16g of fat, 7 of which saturates (the really bad stuff). Carbs are high, as is sugar, but at least there’s a dollop of protein in there. The problem is most folk would eat about 4/5 of these things. And THEN you have trouble. Innit.
GUESS WHAT? It’s more donut!
Getting fed up of donuts yet?
Perhaps deep fried donuts will get you hungry again?
Or, maybe, visit a donut factory for some free donuts.
Miss Maple probably liked donuts.
So much choice, yet again. And, yet, they all look pretty vile, eh?
Pink donuts are injected with radioactive isotopes to look more lively. Possibly.
“Del Santo” probably stands for “Lots of donuts”.
There’s yet more of them!
Something went wrong with the bottom right donut. It’s only half sprinkled!
These ones seem to be melting under the weight of their fat content.
This is a Donut Sundae! Love the cherry on top. So gourmet!
Spoilt for choice, once again.
These are donuts, but they could be anything. Sausages, bits of chicken… donuts?
This woman would probably hunt you down if you didn’t buy her donuts.
Jam donuts. Traditional. Fun.
Sick of donuts?

If you’ve made it this far you’re either very fond of donuts, or you’ve sickened yourself to your very core. If the latter… GOOD! Go and have a carrot to celebrate! Hurrah!

Dispense with some gibberish!

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