The social cataloguing website Goodreads has interested us of late. After reading the novella Weasels in the Attic by Hiroko Oyamada, we found some of the negative user reviews on there rather amusing.

Just simply down to their staggering pomposity.

And then in December 2023 there was The Guardian article: ‘It’s totally unhinged’: is the book world turning against Goodreads? In this piece, it was revealed some writers are sabotaging their competitor’s new releases with a wave of negative reviews.

It got us thinking about William Shakespeare. Notable literary genius, but what do the people of the internet world think of the Bard? Let’s have a gander!

To be negative, or not to be negative: The World of Online Shakespeare Hate

“never again. should be called the ‘tempissed’ bc this whole play was pissing me off”

That’s a lovely 1/5 review of The Tempest (1610) from a belligerent student.

We find all this amusing as Shakespeare’s genius is pretty well documented at this point. His work is viewed as the peak of literary endeavour.

And yet in the online era EVERYONE (no matter how drunk, pompous, stupid, or enraged) now has the chance to offload on Shakespeare’s works.

There’s one thing this global online community has taught us. And that’s no matter how brilliant a piece of work is, somebody out there will have a serious issue with it.

Macbeth’s Negative Reviews

“Reading Shakespeare for me is an experience similar to trying to solve algebraic problems. I feel like I am being waterboarded or dragged slowly into lukewarm water to drown.”

On Goodreads, Macbeth has amassed some 875,467 ratings and a total of 19,383 reviews. That breaks down like this:

• Five stars: 32%
• Four stars: 34%
• Three stars: 23%
• Two stars: 6%
• One star: 2%

Interestingly, one of those 1/5s is from an author (we won’t name him). Part of his May 2008 review reads like this:

“Possibly the greatest disappointment I’ve had in my entire reading life. I can’t express how much I wanted to love this play. Yet it was fatalistic and annoying, very few plot elements had any real build, Macduff was forced into importance long after he should for the role he’s going to play and in such a cloying manner, and the prophecies come true in ham-handed fashion, including one of the most dubious Deus ex Machina climaxes in all of Literature. Call this a Tragedy, but the only tragic element was that more of these characters didn’t die (and sooner).”

We’ve certainly not seen the great Scottish play Macbeth (first performed in 1606 and our favourite Shakespeare work) described as “fatalistic and annoying” before! The reviewer added:

“Perhaps actors could make this work, but as a piece of printed Literature it is dismal at best.”

It’s worth noting, of course, reading Shakespeare’s work wasn’t exactly the playwright’s intention. You see these in theatre with trained thespians doing their bit, rather than monotonously reading them out in your head.

Also noteworthy is how these plays are from over 400 years ago.

For us, part of reading Shakespeare has always been to downplay certain plot expectations. Simply as it’s from a completely different time and place, with modern narrative expectations a lot different from Shakespeare’s day.

Another reviewer left this gem:

“i hate shakespeare he’s not a genius stop praising him people”

And another:

“its really complicated and stupid!
why cant we be reading like Romeo and Juliet?!?!
at least that book is good!”

And another:

“Mcbeth was a dumb book, only physco people would like it. Because all it is, is a plot to go and kill people so that Mcbeth can become a king. I feel like Lady Mcbeth was a really ugly chick, I’m not sure why I think that but I do. I really hate how the book is written in old english, it pisses me off.”

To a friend of ours we’ve noted Goodreads is basically like Glassdoor, but for readers. On the latter, disgruntled employees can offload their real feelings about employers with scathing reviews.

Goodreads offers the same opportunity for many a moody teenager unhappy about having to comprehend Macbeth on a rainy Monday morning.

Romeo and Juliet’s Negative Reviews

“So…yeah. This is my most hated book of all time. No lies, no exaggerations, no fucks given. Honestly why the fuck were trees wasted on this??? Like honestly fuck you Shakespeare. Sink further into your damn grave and go die further …

I just HATE this book. I hate the characters, I hate the romance, I hate how pretentious everything is, I HATE it.”

One of the most famous works in history, Romeo and Juliet has a bit of a tough time of it on Goodreads. Right now, it has a rating of 3.74/5 from 2,546,711 ratings and 30,227 reviews. That breaks down thus:

• Five stars: 29%
• Four stars: 30%
• Three stars: 26%
• Two stars: 9%
• One star: 3%

A big bunch of the 1/5s are the usual batch of angry pupils forced to read this at GCSE/high school level. In fact, one of them directly states:

“I blame high school english for this”

Someone else wrote in their August 2012 review:

“This was a horrible story. It was boring, for one. The plot absolutely infuriates me (to the point where it was laughable). And come on. Romeo? He was in the closet. Anyways, this story was stupid. Romeo is this whiny little 16 year old kid slobbering over Rosaline and convinced that his life sucks(so he’s basically like any other melodramatic teenager today). And Juliet is this 14 year old that is just way too anxious to take her panties off, you know? So yeah. They see each other and suddenly they’re in love (mind that Romeo was in love with her cousin about five seconds before that.) And they end up getting married and freaking killing themselves.”

Some of the hate is VERY strong indeed. On the level out outright detestation, as this individual was happy to highlight:

“the most ridiculous, disgusting and incoherent piece of literature that I have ever read. not only is the story just terrible but it doesn’t make any sense. you never know why the two families are sworn enemies. the romance is definitely not the greatest of all time but instead is squeezed into about 20 pages to make space for violence and murder. any scene or moment that should be emotional is undermined by the fact that you have no reason to actually care for any of the unrealistic whiny emotional and shallow characters. I know it’s really old and it was a different form of literature, but I expected more from a book that apparently you have to read at least once aka the greats of all time.”

This individual then noted they’re glad they could read it in one afternoon at school, after which they were (or so they claimed) eager to “burn it” to the ground.

To note, Romeo and Juliet received some 91,208 ratings of 1/5. Although only 30 of that lot put in the time to explain their unrelenting hatred of the work.

Hamlet’s Negative Reviews

“men are so dramatic for no reason”

From its 926,864 ratings, there are 21,037 reviews for Hamlet. The star ratings spread is very much like this:

• Five stars: 38%
• Four stars: 33%
• Three stars: 20%
• Two stars: 5%
• One star: 1%

Although Hamlet fairs well enough on the higher ratings, those 1/5s still persist for Shakespeare’s longest play (some 29,551 words).

One reviewer from February 2016 highlights the play’s literary merits are “iconic”, but hands over 1/5 anyway whilst stating:

“Hamlet is one of the most idiotic and self-obsessed characters in creation. His inaction defines him as a tragic character, but to my mind that’s just silly. He caused his own death and the death of everyone in the play; yes, again, this makes his inaction tragic but it was also completely self-defeating; it boarded upon the absurd. The man needed a slap and a reality check, I just find him so unbearably frustrating.”

This male reviewer goes on to highlight his issues with the main character. Namely that Hamlet:

• Is a fool
• Hatches a crap plan for revenge
• Is too self-absorbed

Good points. We always thought in Macbeth, for example, the eponymous character’s main flaw was his habit of murdering people. Therefore, 1/5 no good.

Elsewhere, in 2011 a female reviewer noted (with a bit of a spoiler here):

“Hamlet was so whiny. The best part was when everybody kills each other at the end.”

Another male reviewer from February 2015 noted:

“You know what I wish? I wish the whiny-ass characters in Hamlet would shut up, for once.

“Just shut up!” I wanted to yell by the end. “Shut the hell up! Stop talking! I’m sick of it!”

And I am. I’m sick of it. Shakespeare’s contribution to the English language is irrelevant, as is the obsession of teaching and acting his plays centuries after his death. I’m reviewing Hamlet based on the work itself. And the work is schlock. Utter schlock.”

Well, there we have it then! Hamlet is shlock. You’ve been told!

King Lear’s Negative Reviews

“I’ve just come to the conclusion that Shakespeare is not for me. I don’t like the writing and the characters and the plot. I just don’t like it, and I just don’t care about any of it.”

With 215,091 ratings and 6,657 reviews, King Lear currently maintains a 3.91/5 rating. The stars spread out like this:

• Five stars: 34%
• Four stars: 33%
• Three stars: 23%
• Two stars: 6%
• One star: 1%

Many of the negative reviews accuse the play of being boring.

Although a consistent theme has emerged across this feature. Those who hate a specific work are happy to revel in the deaths of most of the characters come the end of the play. Like it’s a cathartic release (probably a bit of schadenfreude thrown into the mix, too):

“This is one of the worst things I’ve read, and that’s saying something. Not only was everyone a fucking idiot in this but they were all dislikable characters. I was genuinely thrilled when everyone died”

An older male review from August 2021 tried to be more constructive with his criticism. All of which led to a crucial epiphany:

“Reading it was a nightmare. It all got confusing, gorgeous language did not stand out from the stuff that just moves the plot along, and the aspects of this play that have always bothered me (why is Lear so stupid?) just felt bigger.

I now realise something that should have been obvious: it is the actors that animate the script, without them it is way harder (too hard for me) to bring this to life in an exciting way.”

Whereas another review, from October 2022, just went straight for the outright caustic approach:

“Very melodramatic.

Shakes, the day I no longer am forced to read your mediocre plays can’t come soon enough.”

There we go, then, Shakespeare. Will you just bloody lay off with all the melodrama? An updated version of King Lear minus all the playing to emotions would be much appreciated.

Conclusions on Shakespeare’s Literary Genius

“i hate shakespeare he’s not a genius stop praising him people”

Has there ever been a more apt appraisal of The Bard’s prose? We think not! Indeed, we think Shakespeare is a fraud!

Need proof!?

Look at all those negative reviews! More 1/5s than the eye can see!

As such, we think 2024 (and every year after it, such as 2025 etc.) should be the year of Shakespeare Slander. As in, people go around verbally dissing The Bard’s plays. For example, you may wish to announce loudly at work:

“Hi there, Gerald from accounts! What? Yes, I know we haven’t spoken in over four months, but hear me out. Do you know A Midsummer Night’s Dream? No, it’s not an erotic thriller by E. L. James. It’s William Shakespeare, you goddamn philistine pig dog! Anyway, the play is a crime against literature and I just wanted you to know, Gerald from accounts, my Goodreads star rating for it is one stars out of five. I hath spoken and, lo, this is fact!”

Discussions like that across the land will straighten out all this literary status stuff. Go forth and have them, readers, so we can set the record straight!