The One Hit Wonders were a pop group from the mid-00s that set out with a bold goal—to become a one hit wonder, retire in the aftermath, and lead an easy life living off royalties.
However, and ironically, The One Hit Wonders failed to write a hit single. As with Puppies and Punks from the same era, they were doomed by their gimmicky lack of appeal.
Thus, the four male members (despite sporting six packs and mighty man muscles), had to take up boring day jobs. Over time the six packs became beer bellies, they went bald, and all because they couldn’t become a one hit wonder. Sad acts!
The Cautionary Tale of Failing to Become a One Hit Wonder
The four members were Barry, Larry, Harry, and Gary. With their boyband bland conventional good looks, they set out to become rich and famous.
After forming in high school they hit the pop charts in position 271 in 2005 with the single Baby You Gotta Stop Nagging Me and Just Go and Get Me a Beer. Larry was the lead songwriter, but as the song failed to reach the top 100 the other members removed him from songwriting duties.
The chief complaint was the song wasn’t catchy enough, instead using a far too long name and repeating the chorus was very difficult (especially when the lads were when performing drunk or hungover).
Harry took over lead songwriting duties and quickly thrashed out a set of potential hit singles:
- Oh My God Your Hot
- This launched and led to ridicule from the music press regarding the group’s spelling issues.
- It’s Friday Night And I’m Drunk
- Intended as a drunken blokey anthem, but it didn’t catch on.
- Shoo Wop Doobie Wob Bop Da Bop Hop Gop Mop Dop
- Beer Goggles
- You’ll Know I Love You When I Buy You a Kebab
All of these songs failed to reach the top 200 UK charts. Harry was also demoted from lead songwriting duties.
Furious, he got drunk that night and he and Larry ended up having a punch up that resulted in one black eye and a bust lip.
In Search of That Elusive Hit Single
By 2007, the group still hadn’t hit the top 150 in the UK charts. Getting a bit desperate, Barry and Gary joined forces to become the next Lennon/McCartney genius partnership.
After three days slugging beer and writing songs, the duo emerged from their London flat hungover to all hell. But with their best set of tracks yet! Including:
- The Loveliest Love Song Since Lovely Stuff Happened
- It’s Easier to Love You When I’m Not Hungover
- Don’t Call Me When the Footie is On
- OI OI DARLIN’!
- WAHEY!!!
- My Beer Belly is Manly
The band particularly thought the strong melodies in It’s Easier to Love You When I’m Not Hungover had hit single written all over them.
Larry told us recently in an exclusive interview:
“I didn’t like the other songs, they were all shit frankly and mine were miles better but they didn’t want to use them no more. But I admit It’s Easier to Love You When I’m Not Hungover were a work of genius. The lightbulb moment Gary had when he was on his thirtieth beer in seventy two hours. It were a miracle, no doubts, and we knew that one were gonna make us famous.”
The group’s record label threw everything behind the track in a crazed push to hit the number one spot in time for summer 2007.
Despite a lavish music video to complement the song, with the guys all flaunting their rapidly diminishing six packs (a legacy of all the beer drinking), the song only peaked at 55 in the UK charts.
Devastated, the lads hit the town and drank away their sorrows with beer and punch ups.
“The No Hit Wonders”
The music press began a campaign of cruelly, mercilessly mocking the group. They were even dubbed The No Hit Wonders.
These cruel, cruel jibes took their toll on the group.
All except Gary, who was blessed with the type of relentless self-belief that only an extreme streak of stupidity can achieve. Convinced It’s Easier to Love You When I’m Not Hungover was a number one single in waiting, he reworked the single into a variety of genres:
- Rap
- Dance
- Classical
- Opera
- Heavy metal
- Death metal
- Folk
- Indie
The work took six months and cost £10 million, but the song was re-released into all available charts.
There it bombed once again, only reaching a peak chart position of 77 in the UK death metal charts. Their music studio execs were not happy and the group was fired, never to be picked up by another record label again.
A Terrible Fate of Motivational Talks and Opening Shopping Centres
Although dropped by their record label, The One Hit Wonders are still around as a band. They never gave up on their dream!
Despite not being one hit wonders, they tour around with It’s Easier to Love You When I’m Not Hungover as their centrepiece song. To this day, Gary is convinced this will be a number one hit. He told us in an exclusive interview:
” It’ll take, like, a bit of time for the thick as shit members of public to come round to us. We were ahead of our time but now I reckon we’re due some credit. I’m forty two now and older, wiser… the six pack has been replaced by a really impressive beer belly. But It’s Easier to Love You When I’m Not Hungover still moves me to tears every time I bloody well sing it. The public will see sense soon enough. Then we’ll truly live up to our name as one hit wonders. I know. God came to me in a drunken hangover dream and told me!”
Whilst the band awaits the realisation of this dream, the four members tour the UK providing motivational tours and opening supermarkets and shopping centres.
With every opening, they hand out free copies of their soon-to-be-number one single. They also drink a lot of free beer.
