Professional Moron

Professional Moron

Daily Doses of Surreal Humour & Culture

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Tag: Humor

Conker's Bad Fur Day
13 hours ago December 9, 2018December 8, 2018Mr. Wapojif

Conker’s Bad Fur Day: Swearing?! Yes! **** Off!

Mrs. Santa Claus
2 days ago December 7, 2018December 7, 2018Mr. Wapojif

Exclusive Santa Column: A Day in the Life of Mrs. Santa Claus

Toy Story
4 days ago December 6, 2018December 2, 2018Mr. Wapojif

Toy Story: “This isn’t flying, it’s falling with style” Quote Off Extravaganza!

Chainsaw cutting a baguette
6 days ago December 4, 2018December 2, 2018Mr. Wapojif

Invention: Cookie Cutter Chainsaw (for cookie cutting excellence)

Alien
7 days ago December 3, 2018December 2, 2018Mr. Wapojif

Agony Aunt: “HELP! I married a man… but it turns out it’s an alien!”

Commuting man on a train with no hair
1 week ago November 30, 2018November 30, 2018Mr. Wapojif

Breaking News: British Train Fares Go UP and Poor People Go MENTAL!

Question
1 week ago November 29, 2018November 29, 2018Mr. Wapojif

Q&A With Your Learned Subject… Professional Moron!

Coffee
2 weeks ago November 27, 2018November 26, 2018Mr. Wapojif

FAQs – Coffee: Is It Dangerous, Can I Drink It, And Why?

Ill
November 25, 2018November 25, 2018Mr. Wapojif

Professional Moron is Ill

Frog
November 22, 2018November 21, 2018Mr. Wapojif

Exclusive Invention: The Frog Machine (better than fog machines)

Brexit
November 16, 2018November 30, 2018Mr. Wapojif

Breaking News: Brexit Negotiations Plunge England Into Total Chaos (Again)! REJOICE!

Woman at a computer
November 15, 2018November 16, 2018Mr. Wapojif

Agony Aunt: “HELP! How do I bloody well online date?!”

Autumn
November 12, 2018November 12, 2018Mr. Wapojif

The New Seasons: Introducing 10 BRAND NEW Seasons!

Petrol
November 9, 2018November 9, 2018Mr. Wapojif

Exclusive Fad: The Petrol Diet (lose weight & become flammable)

Edgar the Bug
November 7, 2018November 4, 2018Mr. Wapojif

Edgar the Bug: Praising Vincent D’Onofrio’s Brilliance in MIB

Sofa
November 6, 2018November 6, 2018Mr. Wapojif

FAQs – Sofas: Why are they comfy & what else can they do?

Romantic dinner
November 5, 2018November 5, 2018Mr. Wapojif

Exclusive Santa Column: Mr. & Mrs. Santa Claus’ Romantic Dinner

A leaking tap in a sink
November 2, 2018November 2, 2018Mr. Wapojif

Exclusive Invention: Kitchen Stink (like a sink, but it smells bad)

Artichoke
November 1, 2018October 29, 2018Mr. Wapojif

Breaking News: Artichoke Dip Renamed “Artistrangle” To Celebrate UK’s Crime Epidemic

Weightlifting
October 30, 2018October 30, 2018Mr. Wapojif

Agony Aunt: “HELP! I’ve fallen in love with me… & the wife is angry!”

Sylvester Stallone
October 29, 2018October 29, 2018Mr. Wapojif

Great TV Shows That Never Were: Sylvester Stallone Improvement

Business inspection
October 26, 2018October 26, 2018Mr. Wapojif

Exclusive Santa Column: Government Inspection & Introducing Nude Working Days!

Noodles
October 23, 2018October 21, 2018Mr. Wapojif

FAQs: Noodles – It’s spaghetti really, isn’t it? Or not?

Post-it notes
October 22, 2018October 21, 2018Mr. Wapojif

Exclusive Invention: Post-It Boats (sticky, but handy, boats)

Angry face
October 19, 2018October 19, 2018Mr. Wapojif

The Dating Diary of Dickhead Deirdre #1: Plumber Dave

Couple proposing
October 15, 2018October 15, 2018Mr. Wapojif

Agony Aunt: “HELP! How do I propose to my girlfriend (so that she becomes my wife)?”

Welcome mat
October 12, 2018October 7, 2018Mr. Wapojif

Exclusive Santa Column: The Importance of Welcome Mats (that don’t maim anyone)

An extravagant crevice with a waterfall
October 11, 2018October 7, 2018Mr. Wapojif

Exclusive Invention: The Drum Pit (drum kits in a pit)

Someone pointing at a graph in a business decision
October 5, 2018October 5, 2018Mr. Wapojif

Exclusive Santa Column: Quantitive & Qualitative Product Delineation (Plus a Clogged Toilet)

Rye bread
October 1, 2018October 1, 2018Mr. Wapojif

Exclusive Recipe: Wry Bread (for sardonic bread lovers)

Christmas cheer
September 28, 2018September 28, 2018Mr. Wapojif

Exclusive Santa Column: Singles, Shingles, Gout, & Yuletide Prep

Predator - They ain't got time to bleed
September 27, 2018September 27, 2018Mr. Wapojif

Predator: “I ain’t got time to bleed” Quote Off Extravaganza!

Ketchup
September 25, 2018September 23, 2018Mr. Wapojif

FAQs: Is ketchup safe for human consumption? (& etc.)

Beer
September 24, 2018September 24, 2018Mr. Wapojif

Great TV Shows That Never Were: Blind Drunk Date

Christmas 2019 with a girl watching Santa in the snow
September 21, 2018September 21, 2018Mr. Wapojif

Exclusive Santa Claus Column 2018: Morose Grumblings As Santa Returns For XMas!

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And a book for the ages right here. #TheWorstJourneyInTheWorld #books #Travel 🐧 ❄️
Word of the day, courtesy of the excellent @lemm1no. #Swearing #Geek #LEMMiNO 🤬🖕
Wishing Choumley all the best right now. He’s 13. #dog #doggy #staffy
I was sent here by work in 2017. It was too sunny, so I went back to the Manc rain. #Spain #Beach #Sea ☀️
#Bin of the day. #Bins 🗑
Nice bit of #Manchester here. It’s #Cornbrook. Home to no corn, though. 🌽

Our Most Excellent Posts

Conker's Bad Fur Day: Swearing?! Yes! **** Off!
Superman on the N64: Mike Matei's Heroic Playthrough Journey
Top 10 Most Epic & Glorious Modern 2D Platformer Games!
The Best Song Titles That Haven’t Been Used Yet
Titanic: “I’m flying... Jack!” Quote Off Extravaganza!
Exclusive Santa Column: A Day in the Life of Mrs. Santa Claus
Mozart and Scatological Humour: Diagnosing a Genius
10 Fish Which Sound Like You’re Insulting Someone
Ice by Anna Kavan
Is The Cauliflower a Flower or a Vegetable, Already?!?

Arbitrary Image Alert!

Behold... Jupiter!

When is it 2019?

Impending 2019.January 1st, 2019
22 days to go.

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