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Professional Moron

Daily Doses of Surreal Humour & Culture

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Tag: Humor

Man falling asleep over some poems
3 days ago June 14, 2019June 14, 2019Mr. Wapojif

Haiku Friday #5: Bodily Functions Special

We are hiring
4 days ago June 13, 2019June 14, 2019Mr. Wapojif

We’re Hiring: Our Last Apprentice Died Hideously… Sign On Up!

An angry man in a hoodie
6 days ago June 11, 2019June 9, 2019Mr. Wapojif

Agony Aunt: “You made me put the toilet seat down & you will pay!”

Toilet cubicles in a black and white bathroom
7 days ago June 10, 2019June 9, 2019Mr. Wapojif

Exclusive Invention: The Toilet Seat Hat

A page of poems
1 week ago June 7, 2019June 8, 2019Mr. Wapojif

Haiku Friday #4: Sporting Special

Soy Sauce
2 weeks ago June 3, 2019June 2, 2019Mr. Wapojif

Breaking News: Inaugural World Soy Sauce Drinking Championship Ends in Chaos

Letters on a page
May 31, 2019June 8, 2019Mr. Wapojif

Haiku Friday #3: Foodie Special

A toothbrush and toothpaste
May 30, 2019May 30, 2019Mr. Wapojif

Why Does Orange Juice Taste Bad After Brushing Your Teeth?

A surfer falling over a wave
May 28, 2019May 27, 2019Mr. Wapojif

Exclusive Invention: Key Surf Board (for typing & surfin’)

A female runner smiling like crazy
May 27, 2019June 1, 2019Mr. Wapojif

Agony Aunt: “Our marriage is over competitive & it’s dangerous!”

Downing Street
May 24, 2019May 24, 2019Mr. Wapojif

Breaking News: Theresa May Resigns – Who’s Gonna be the Next Prime Minister!?

LinkedIn logo
May 20, 2019May 20, 2019Mr. Wapojif

How to Use LinkedIn

Haiku in Japanese
May 17, 2019June 8, 2019Mr. Wapojif

Haiku Friday #2: Delve Into Our Poetic World

Shaking hands in an office
May 10, 2019May 9, 2019Mr. Wapojif

How to Shake Someone’s Hand

A baby looking surprised
May 9, 2019May 9, 2019Mr. Wapojif

Breaking News: Big Business Capitalism Destroying Planet… ZOMG, a Royal Baby!

Straw sweep
May 7, 2019May 7, 2019Mr. Wapojif

Exclusive Invention: Sweep (a way to sleep & clean up!)

A woman getting married with a bunch of flowers
May 6, 2019May 6, 2019Mr. Wapojif

Agony Aunt: “I’m jealous my bestie is getting married before me!”

Moronic yellow
May 6, 2019May 6, 2019Mr. Wapojif

P-P-P-Patreon: Professional Moron’s Tyrannical Plans

Poetry book and haikus
May 3, 2019June 8, 2019Mr. Wapojif

Haiku Friday #1: Professional Moron Does Japanese Poetry

Butter
May 2, 2019May 2, 2019Mr. Wapojif

Great Sayings Revisited: Age is butter number

A slug
April 30, 2019April 29, 2019Mr. Wapojif

15 Beatles Songs Ruined By Adding “Slug” Into The Title

Scones
April 25, 2019April 25, 2019Mr. Wapojif

Great TV Shows That Never Were: Game of Scones

An egg and mayonnaise bun
April 23, 2019April 23, 2019Mr. Wapojif

News: Mayonnaise to be Renamed Mayonaise in Horror Move

Mittens
April 22, 2019April 22, 2019Mr. Wapojif

Agony Aunt: “HELP! How do I tell when I’ve fallen in glove?”

A cake with strawberries
April 19, 2019April 19, 2019Mr. Wapojif

Exclusive Invention: The Cake Car (better than a normal car)

Crocodile Dundee
April 18, 2019April 22, 2019Mr. Wapojif

Crocodile Dundee: “You call that a knife?” Quote Off Extravaganza!

People queuing
April 11, 2019April 11, 2019Mr. Wapojif

FAQs – Queuing: How to queue (on cue) to be a queue master

Lying
April 2, 2019March 29, 2019Mr. Wapojif

How to Tell if Someone is Lying

Silhoutte of women on the phone
April 1, 2019April 16, 2019Mr. Wapojif

Great Films That Never Were: The Lord of the Ringtones

Good looking happy young couple cycling in a field
March 29, 2019March 29, 2019Mr. Wapojif

Agony Aunt: “HELP! How do my wife and me get more attractive?”

Dennis Pennis
March 26, 2019March 26, 2019Mr. Wapojif

Dennis Pennis: The Celebrity Interviewer Ready With Insults

Cement
March 25, 2019March 25, 2019Mr. Wapojif

Exclusive Recipe: Cement Bread

Susy the Speech Bubble
March 23, 2019April 1, 2019Mr. Wapojif

Short Story: Susy the Speech Bubble

Alien abduction
March 22, 2019March 22, 2019Mr. Wapojif

How to Effectively Manage Your Alien Abduction

Man with extra arms
March 21, 2019March 20, 2019Mr. Wapojif

Agony Aunt: “My boyfriend has grown a third arm and it’s gross!”

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My Tweets

Six Degrees of Instagram

Interesting #noodle take on #thegreatwaveoffkanagawa. With #noodles! #thegreatwave #art 🍝
T’ most #Northern thing I’ve bought in many a year. Eeeee by gum. #tea #oopnorf #beverage #teas #art #lancashire #lancashiretea 🍵
#Manchester and whatever this bit is called. I always forget. #city #cityscape #citylife #architecture #cement
Where there’s a #spire, there’s a... flat tyre? #architecture #city #Manchester #citylife #cityscape
FFS, even the #statues are asking for change now. Ugh! If you’re poor, you should work harder!!!!!!!!! #Manchester
This #waterfeature is broken. Why does it go #boop? Most confusing. #Manchester #city #fountain

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