Professional Moron

Professional Moron

Daily Doses of Surreal Humour & Culture

Menu Skip to content
  • Silliness
    • Insane Inventions
    • Silly Stuff
    • Pretentious Hour
    • Hamsters
    • How to…
    • In Praise Of…
    • In Contempt Of…
  • Food
    • Genius New Recipes
    • Food Disasters
    • Classy Observations
    • Oodles of Noodles
    • Tea Week!
  • Films & TV
    • Quote Off Extravaganzas!
    • TV Shows That Never Were
    • The Very Best Of…
    • Film Reviews And Stuffs
  • Groovy Books
    • Serious Books
    • Not So Serious Books
    • Travel Writing
  • Video Games
    • Retro Gaming
    • Indie Games
    • Modern Games
  • Features
    • Agony Aunt
    • Special Features
    • Exclusive Newsletters From Famous Folks!
    • Learn About History!
    • Get With The Times (News)
  • Posthoumous
  • About

Tag: Lifestyle

Pandiculation is when you yawn and stretch simultaneously
12 hours ago July 26, 2017July 22, 2017Mr. Wapojif

Pandiculation: The Name For When You Yawn and Stretch

How to go bald gracefully
5 days ago July 21, 2017July 22, 2017Mr. Wapojif

How to Go Bald Gracefully (a manly man’s guide)

Grease on Toast
6 days ago July 20, 2017July 20, 2017Mr. Wapojif

Exclusive Recipe: Grease on Toast (better than cheese on toast)

Mouthmosh - It does a better job than mouthwash
1 week ago July 17, 2017July 11, 2017Mr. Wapojif

Invention: MouthMosh (for rocking out with the benefit of fresh breath)

Washing down liquid
2 weeks ago July 14, 2017July 8, 2017Mr. Wapojif

Breaking News: Washing Down Liquid to Hit Supermarket Shelves and Facilitate Pessimists

Lemon Migraine Pie
2 weeks ago July 13, 2017July 8, 2017Mr. Wapojif

Exclusive Recipe: Lemon Migraine Pie (skip work in style!)

Bleach balls - everyone is happy with bleach involved
July 11, 2017July 6, 2017Mr. Wapojif

Exclusive Invention: Bleach Ball – For Great Times by the Sea!

How to Name Your Baby Guide
July 7, 2017July 1, 2017Mr. Wapojif

How to Name Your Baby (with help from Professional Moron!)

The Humbrella
July 4, 2017July 4, 2017Mr. Wapojif

Invention: The Humblebrella (keeping you dry and humble)

Banofeet pie
July 3, 2017July 3, 2017Mr. Wapojif

Exclusive Recipe: Banofeet Pie (making feet acceptable again)

Why can't I use mankind in conversation
June 26, 2017June 25, 2017Mr. Wapojif

Agony Aunt: “HELP! Why can’t I say ‘mankind’ no more?!”

June 23, 2017June 18, 2017Mr. Wapojif

Exclusive Recipe: Marshland Marshmallows & Sardine Ice Cream

Toilet Cloner
June 19, 2017June 20, 2017Mr. Wapojif

Exclusive Invention: Toilet Cloner (miles better than toilet cleaner)

Tzatziki to be renamed
June 16, 2017June 16, 2017Mr. Wapojif

Breaking News: Controversy as Tzatziki Renamed “Cucumber Dip”

The Spice Girls Pizza
June 14, 2017June 14, 2017Mr. Wapojif

Exclusive Recipe: Pizza-Zigazig Ah (Spice Girls themed pizza)

ConfiDance the dancing robot
May 26, 2017May 25, 2017Mr. Wapojif

Exclusive Invention: Learn to Dance with the ConfiDance Robot!

Pommes de Tear clothes recipe
May 25, 2017May 25, 2017Mr. Wapojif

Exclusive Recipe: Pommes de Tear (make your torn clothes edible)

Government plans mint plans
May 19, 2017May 19, 2017Mr. Wapojif

Breaking News: UK Government Plans Major Mint-Based Reforms

Candy Floss Floss
May 17, 2017May 14, 2017Mr. Wapojif

Exclusive Recipe: Candy Floss Floss (eat whilst flossing!)

Sardine Soufflé
May 12, 2017May 6, 2017Mr. Wapojif

Exclusive Recipe: Sardine & Chocolate Soufflé!

Potato Milk
May 4, 2017April 30, 2017Mr. Wapojif

Exclusive Recipe: Potato Milk (like almond milk, but better)

Central Hooting
May 3, 2017April 30, 2017Mr. Wapojif

Invention: Central Hooting (heating with brilliant sound effects)

How do I look like Brad Pitt?
May 1, 2017April 30, 2017Mr. Wapojif

Agony Aunt: “HELP! How Do I Make Myself Look Like Brad Pitt?!”

Satsuma Sandwiches
April 27, 2017April 27, 2017Mr. Wapojif

Exclusive Recipe: Satsuma, Salt, & Mayonnaise Sandwiches

Spoon Fireworks
April 25, 2017April 25, 2017Mr. Wapojif

Exclusive Invention: Volatile Spoon Fireworks Eating Implement!

How to lose one stone in one week
April 20, 2017April 20, 2017Mr. Wapojif

Agony Aunt: “HELP! I need to lose one stone in one week!”

sCones - Cones and Scones Invention
April 18, 2017April 18, 2017Mr. Wapojif

Exclusive Invention: sCones (a scone and cone hybrid for drivers)

The Lunge
April 13, 2017April 9, 2017Mr. Wapojif

Exclusive Invention: The Lunge (a lounge for lungers)

The early bird catches worms
April 11, 2017April 11, 2017Mr. Wapojif

Great Sayings Revisited: The early bird catches worms

Finding your one true love
April 6, 2017April 6, 2017Mr. Wapojif

Agony Aunt: “HELP! How do I find my one true love?”

Cement Plates
April 4, 2017April 2, 2017Mr. Wapojif

Exclusive Invention: Concrete Plates (so you don’t break them)

Haddock and Coca Cola Soup
April 3, 2017April 3, 2017Mr. Wapojif

Exclusive Recipe: Haddock & Coca Cola Soup!

Crisps Soup Recipe
March 30, 2017March 27, 2017Mr. Wapojif

Exclusive Recipe: Crisps Soup!

The Tea Pit
March 28, 2017March 28, 2017Mr. Wapojif

Exclusive Invention: The Tea Pit (holds more tea than a tea pot)

Chicken, Mushroom, and Lice Soup
March 23, 2017March 24, 2017Mr. Wapojif

Exclusive Recipe: Chicken, Mushroom, & Lice Soup!

Posts navigation

1 2 … 8 →

Join 766 other followers

We’re Sociable, Dammit!

  • View ProfessionalMoron’s profile on Facebook
  • View CreativeMoron’s profile on Twitter
  • View Professional_Moron’s profile on Instagram
  • View 113047790457755711149’s profile on Google+

Cripes… it’s Twitter!

My Tweets

Six Degrees of Instagram

Steve the #hamster in action yesterday morning. An intrepid hero right there. #Turmeric is golden! Absolutely. Delicious #tea right here. Brrrmmmn brrrmmm!!! Brrrmmmm, brrrmmmmmm, brrrrrrrmmmm! #Toys Let's not forget the power of #Queen or #FreddieMercury. Aiiiiie. Wonderful way to cheer me up on a dark day. Perfectly timed, thank you @retrogamermag! ♥️ #SuperMarioKart #SNES #RetroGaming Telling Steve off for tipping one of his wheels over. #Hamster tantrums.

Our Most Excellent Posts

The Best Song Titles That Haven’t Been Used Yet
Pandiculation: The Name For When You Yawn and Stretch
Titanic: “I’m flying... Jack!” Quote Off Extravaganza!
Pie Debate: Are Pies Unhealthy?
Aliens: “Get away from her, you bitch!” Quote Off Extravaganza!
10 Vegetables Which Sound Like Your Insulting Someone
Tago Mago: Can's Explosive, Thunderous, Pulsating Masterpiece
20 Legal Terms Improved By Adding "Poo" Into Them
Great Sayings Revisited: Jack of all trays (and master of nuns)
Posthoumous: A Dystopian Story About Houmous Gone Wrong!

Arbitrary Image Alert!

Behold... Jupiter!

Autumn?!

ZOMG! IT'S AUTUMN!September 22nd, 2017
57 days to go.

Insert Search Query Here

Copyright & All That

© Professional Moron, 2017. Unauthorised use and/or duplication of our content without permission is prohibited. Excerpts and links can be used, but full credit to us is required. Or else!
Blog at WordPress.com.
Cancel