Professional Moron

Professional Moron

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Tag: Lifestyle

Government plans mint plans
6 days ago May 19, 2017May 19, 2017Mr. Wapojif

Breaking News: UK Government Plans Major Mint-Based Reforms

Candy Floss Floss
1 week ago May 17, 2017May 14, 2017Mr. Wapojif

Exclusive Recipe: Candy Floss Floss (eat whilst flossing!)

Sardine Soufflé
2 weeks ago May 12, 2017May 6, 2017Mr. Wapojif

Exclusive Recipe: Sardine & Chocolate Soufflé!

Potato Milk
May 4, 2017April 30, 2017Mr. Wapojif

Exclusive Recipe: Potato Milk (like almond milk, but better)

Central Hooting
May 3, 2017April 30, 2017Mr. Wapojif

Invention: Central Hooting (heating with brilliant sound effects)

How do I look like Brad Pitt?
May 1, 2017April 30, 2017Mr. Wapojif

Agony Aunt: “HELP! How Do I Make Myself Look Like Brad Pitt?!”

Satsuma Sandwiches
April 27, 2017April 27, 2017Mr. Wapojif

Exclusive Recipe: Satsuma, Salt, & Mayonnaise Sandwiches

Spoon Fireworks
April 25, 2017April 25, 2017Mr. Wapojif

Exclusive Invention: Volatile Spoon Fireworks Eating Implement!

How to lose one stone in one week
April 20, 2017April 20, 2017Mr. Wapojif

Agony Aunt: “HELP! I need to lose one stone in one week!”

sCones - Cones and Scones Invention
April 18, 2017April 18, 2017Mr. Wapojif

Exclusive Invention: sCones (a scone and cone hybrid for drivers)

The Lunge
April 13, 2017April 9, 2017Mr. Wapojif

Exclusive Invention: The Lunge (a lounge for lungers)

The early bird catches worms
April 11, 2017April 11, 2017Mr. Wapojif

Great Sayings Revisited: The early bird catches worms

Finding your one true love
April 6, 2017April 6, 2017Mr. Wapojif

Agony Aunt: “HELP! How do I find my one true love?”

Cement Plates
April 4, 2017April 2, 2017Mr. Wapojif

Exclusive Invention: Concrete Plates (so you don’t break them)

Haddock and Coca Cola Soup
April 3, 2017April 3, 2017Mr. Wapojif

Exclusive Recipe: Haddock & Coca Cola Soup!

Crisps Soup Recipe
March 30, 2017March 27, 2017Mr. Wapojif

Exclusive Recipe: Crisps Soup!

The Tea Pit
March 28, 2017March 28, 2017Mr. Wapojif

Exclusive Invention: The Tea Pit (holds more tea than a tea pot)

Chicken, Mushroom, and Lice Soup
March 23, 2017March 24, 2017Mr. Wapojif

Exclusive Recipe: Chicken, Mushroom, & Lice Soup!

Broadbland
March 20, 2017March 18, 2017Mr. Wapojif

Exclusive Invention: Broadbland (making the internet dull again!)

Eyebrews
March 17, 2017March 17, 2017Mr. Wapojif

Exclusive Invention: Eyebrews (eyebrows which brew a drink)

A falafel recipe which will make you feel truly awful!
March 15, 2017March 15, 2017Mr. Wapojif

Exclusive Recipe: Feel Awful Falafels (for weight loss purposes)

Figs and Chips Recipe
March 13, 2017March 13, 2017Mr. Wapojif

Exclusive Recipe: Figs & Chips (a figgy version of Fish & Chips)

Suntan locomotion invention
March 9, 2017March 9, 2017Mr. Wapojif

Exclusive Invention: Salubrious Suntan Locomotion

Almond milk Hipster crisis
March 6, 2017March 6, 2017Mr. Wapojif

Breaking News: Almond Milk Shortage Triggers Hipster Crisis!

The Lassi Lasagne
March 3, 2017March 2, 2017Mr. Wapojif

Exclusive Recipe: Lassi Lasagne!

The Hedge Trombone
February 27, 2017February 25, 2017Mr. Wapojif

Exclusive Invention: The Hedge Trombone (a musical trimmer)

Curtain invention
February 24, 2017February 25, 2017Mr. Wapojif

Exclusive Invention: The CurTain (an extremely rude talking curtain)

Do nuts health campaign
February 22, 2017February 22, 2017Mr. Wapojif

Exclusive Health Campaign: Do Nuts (brutal, pro-nut eating)

Posthoumous!
February 17, 2017February 17, 2017Mr. Wapojif

Posthoumous: A Dystopian Story About Houmous Gone Wrong!

Door Candles
February 17, 2017February 17, 2017Mr. Wapojif

Exclusive Invention: The Door Candle (a warmer door handle)

The Kebabe - A romantic kebab!
February 15, 2017February 15, 2017Mr. Wapojif

Exclusive Recipe: The KeBabe (an extremely romantic kebab!)

Tobacco smoked salmon
February 10, 2017February 10, 2017Mr. Wapojif

Exclusive Recipe: Tobacco Smoked Salmon

The Jac-Uzi
February 1, 2017February 1, 2017Mr. Wapojif

Exclusive Invention: The Jac-Uzi (a Jacuzzi with guns)

Taramasalata renamed by Sinatra
January 30, 2017January 30, 2017Mr. Wapojif

Breaking News: Taramasalata to be Renamed “Tarama-Sinatra”

Online dating for men in 2017
January 27, 2017January 27, 2017Mr. Wapojif

Lonely Hearts Column #2 – 2017: Women Seeking Men

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Wonderful way to cheer me up on a dark day. Perfectly timed, thank you @retrogamermag! ♥️ #SuperMarioKart #SNES #RetroGaming Telling Steve off for tipping one of his wheels over. #Hamster tantrums. Bloody hell! I bought GROTESQUE sweet and salty by accident instead of a PROPER flavour... got a bit angry. #Popcorn wars. 🍿 New pride and joy! Get yourself an electronic drum kit. It's effing awesome fun! #Drums #Drumming Oh yeah!!! Looking forward to this, big time. #MarioKart8Deluxe There's some sort of monster outside our home... should we call the cops!? #Morning

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As Good As It Gets: “You make me want to be a better man” Super Quote Off Extravaganza!
Exclusive Invention: PastErr (see your conversational filler records!)
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Casablanca: "We'll always have Paris" Quote Off Extravaganza!

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Behold... Jupiter!

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ZOMG! IT'S SUMMER!June 21st, 2017
27 days to go.

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