It’s fair to say the 1931 horror sci-fi romp Frankenstein is a classic. It has monsters in it (well, a monster) and the monster comes alive and that’s the whole point of this sci-fi horror shindig.

Perhaps the most iconic line is delivered by Dr. Henry Frankenstein (Colin Clive) who does a good bit of 1930s era acting. Oh, the humanity. But what would have happened if he’d said something else? Let’s explore the possibilities in this rambling, nonsensical feature.

It’s alive! It’s alive!! IT’S ALIVE!!!

The original in all its glory. It’s very much alive, indeed, and that’s why this scene is very much a cinematic classic. Even if the monster (played by Boris Karloff) isn’t really coming to life as this is a movie and they were all acting. Shocking, we know.

Its alive!

Bit of a grammatical error there to annoy the ENGLISH PEDANTS of the world. Look at the annoyance on Dr. Frankenstein’s face there. Lol. Deal with it, you snowflake!

It’s alive.

This less shouty version of the original would lower the dramatic tone slightly, sure, but we do feel he’s being overly dramatic anyway, thus this would matter of factly identify the status of his project.

It’s jive (talkin’)

Having the monster randomly burst into Bee Gees songs, 40 years before they were even written, would’ve been quite the scoop for this film.

It’s dead!

This one being a bit of a Freudian slip here. We mean, the monster kind of is dead… but isn’t Like a zombie, but with a better haircut.

It’s survived!

Survived in the sense it’s been struck by lightning and not dead, alive, and having survived that situation… this is a very confusing film, when you think about it.

Git’s alive!

Bit of light profanity to intensify the move? Maybe not. It was the ’30s after all and a slight “bloody” in public would result in a moral panic and nationwide riot.

It’s 25!

Well, there’s nothing to suggest the monster isn’t 25. Therefore, the mad doctor scientist guy can get away with claiming this.

It’s deprived!

Oh, don’t start with that champagne socialism stuff with me, Dr. Frankenstein, if the monster is then it should WORK HARDER!

It has a beehive!

Whilst this doesn’t really make sense, we suppose there’s no reason why the green monster dude wouldn’t have a beehive. Nor that his post-becoming alive phase could involve a lucrative career as a beekeeper.

And finally…

It has a beehive (hairdo)!

This version of the film, with the monster wandering around looking like Marge Simpson, would be an excellent edition. We suggest Hollywood gets behind this, injects a $300 million budget, and has Arnold Schwarzenegger star as the monster.