Foodie Special: Fried Breakfast Extravaganza

Cornflakes.
Cornflakes.

Right. It’s a big one. We’ve gone for a Professional Moron record of most pictures ever on one blog post, and what better weigh 2 do dat than having an utterly superfluous celebration of greasy, unhealthy  food! Indeed, here, collated for you all, are the very best copyright free Full English Breakfast/American Breakfast/Fried Breakfast pictures we could come across. It’s an extraordinary feat on our part as, frankly, we never really eat breakfasts like this. “So why bloody well bloody do it then, morons?” Well, stupid readers, we just thought it would be a laugh.

We should point out these meals are not good for you. If you want an Arnold Schwarzenegger-esque physique, ladies, or if you want Marilyn Monroe’s curves, guys, you’re going to want to ditch this diet in favour of something else. Indeed. The only REALLY healthy thing with a fried breakfast is the tomato, but lots of fussy eaters leave that out! Fools! Anyway, here’s a wide selection of the greatest and most greasy fried breakfasts we could find! “Er, what exactly is the point in all of this?” you might well ask. Well, what’s the point in anything? Perhaps this post is just an embracement of existential disdain. Or maybe we just wanted to freak you all out a bit. Hahahahahah! Enjoy!

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We feel this is a crime against eggs, but it does show the fried breakfast in preperation form. Indeed.
Eggs do turn out good in the end, you snow?
Beeeeeans.
Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeannnnnssss…
The unusual addition of pepper is very unusual here. Very unusual indeed.
Wagamama is a salt ridden food restaurant. They tend to hurl about 500% of your daily salt intake into every meal.
One of the more aesthetically pleasing efforts on this list.
Very orange, eh? Like an orange, but without any actual orange.
The drama here is the unusual bread. Fussy eaters would no doubt complain about that, “It’s not proper bread!!!! I want my mommy!!!!”
This is a gourmet breakfast if ever there was one!
A foreign type breakfast thing with severely undercooked looking sausages. I say!
We’re not really sure what the white bits are.
Hearty!
Eggs are very versatile. Here’s one in a breakfast “bun”.
An American one, we think. Kidney beans? Those yanks are so easily confused!
Even eggs can be artistic.
Look at it all! It’s a mordibly obese person’s dream!

Take a deep breath, dear readers, there be more! AAAAAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAaaaaaaaaaaa….

Another American effort. The bacon and eggs look a bit lonely and dwarfed by what we presume is a waffle. Looks a bit dry. Not gourmet at all.
This is just a splat of stuff. Lazy.
This one looks awesome, even if it’s about as good for you as eating bonjela. Rustic value? 10/10.
This chef clearly thought, “A few sprigs of cress will make this monstrous greaseball healthy! Mwaaahahahah!”
The beans are the ocean, the mushroom the sand, and the eggs are the sunbathers. The sausage? Well this is Blackpool after all, use your imagination!
Oh my, no…
Well, why not?
Ham and eggs and bread and orange juice and beer. Nice.
That sausage looks raw.
This is a miserable effort.
No beans?
This is a very stylish take. We love the beans in the little ramekin. And the eggs look like mozerella balls, except they’re eggs!

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