It’s one of the greatest mysteries the Universe has ever known – how do you spell the damn word listed in the title? A brief scan online throws up a variety of possibilities; hummus, homos, houmous, humzzz, hommos, humorous, humongous, but the sad fact of the matter (at the end of the day) is this – no one seems to know. Indeed, even pronouncing this daft word is an issue; some lunatics say “hew-muss”, others “humm-us”.
If you wanted to be pedantic you could even go for, “ho-u-mouse-sssss”. Which would just be insane! Then to make matters even more perplexing there’s the word “posthumous”, which hints at an apocalyptic future where there is no hummus. Which would be a disaster. As homos is great. And so is hummus. More importantly, though, is the issue of posthumous. You’ll discover why in the next paragraph.
How to Spell Hummus
As stated, no one seems to know the correct spelling. It’s a myth which has shifted down over the past to the future incorrectly, a process known as “photosynthesis”. Due to this the situation can be more correctly described as, NO ONE SEEMS TO KNOW! Why the caps? As this is a matter of dire importance. “Er… why? It’s just a chickpea based spread with olive oil, salt, and aspic!” The fate of the world, however, lies in “posthumous”.
How has no one ever seen this? A world where there is no more humous would be a disaster, a tragedy, and a tragicomedy all in one. So, in order to avert this, keep consuming as much of the stuff as possible! Only this will prevent a fall out far greater than even the great Marmite shortages (these harsh times were, presumably, before marmite was invented by Mr. Marmite from Marmiteville).
Ultimately, we must admit we’ve seen a wide variety of spellings of this foodstuff and the two most common spellings remain as: hummus and houmous. We prefer the latter, although the former is more, phonetically, on the ball. We guess it’s up to the hummus consumer – you call it whatever you want, readers. It’s only a name!
Addendum: Posthoumous
As a happy aftermath to this post we wrote, we went on to pen an award-losing short story called Posthoumous. If you’re into everything hummus related, why not head over there right now for a few laughs, giggles, and snorts! It’s based on a true story, too! In the sense that it might become true. It’s not true currently in the fact it’s never happened. Indeed.
