Continuing our scientifically didactic (in a bafflingly idiotic way) romp this week we’re having a look at Black Holes which, to your average human being, are bewilderingly overcomplicated. Luckily Mr. Wapojif is here to make you all feel more intelligent, courtesy of his mad ranting. And so this is, thusly, a post on Black Holes – they are well regarded in terms of their sperhical continuum (their formula, according to Mr. Wapojif, is thus; 444$$55 + @:@:@:@::@1 = 0.1 ad infinitum. Alas, as we all know, space matter (such as Pot Noodles) are far more something or other than the atomical mass of quantumisation. And we all know what that means! Still, we hear you mumbling, “What is this Black Hole, oh moronic one? We don’t get it yet!” and we feel your chronic agony, dear readers. Although this may be down to a bad omlette you had earlier, it could also simply be a hangover. Reprobates! Hasten to the next paragraph to find out more, oh stupid ones!

Well, Black Holes are kind of like Arnold Schwarzenegger in The Terminator; massive, all dominating, the swallower of light, and the quipper of cheesy one-liners. Indeed, if you were to fly past a Black Hole ( like you do) it would spew all manner of ‘80s action movie styled puns at you, such as “Hasta la pizza, space time continuum!”, “You’re gonna need a bigger Black Hole…” (this one is from Jaws), “If it bleeds, it’s not a Black Hole”, and “Here’s looking at you, Black Hole”. Indeed, as you can see, these things can clearly be related to by merely quoting popular culture, but it is also wise to look up at the stars every now and then and shout aloud (to yourself), “****ing hell!” It’s always wise to have a sense of proportion, you see. So there you have it! This is (probably) what a Black Hole is!