15 Classic Films Ruined by Adding “Mushy Peas” to the Title

Peas
Peas, of the non-mushy variety.

Mushy peas are popular in England. They’re peas which have been mushed up. Typically, $300 million Hollywood blockbusters aren’t dedicated in any way to mushy peas, which we find a tad disappointing. Thusly, we’re redressing the balance in a fit of spiteful causticity by taking a load of classics and ruining them by adding in mushy peas. If you need to pee before reading this article, by the way, that’s fine and dandy.

The Silence of the Mushy Peas

Peas

Sometimes, those mushy peas are just too goddamn loud and need to be silenced, enter good cop, bad cop duo Jodie Foster and Sir Anthony Hopkins to kick mushy pea butt.

All About Mushy Peas

Peas

It’s all about mushy peas in this film, which was the direct sequel to 1950 classic All About Eve. The sequel tanked.

Beauty and the Mushy Peas

Peas

What’s more beautiful, Brad Pitt wearing lipstick and a nice dress, or mushy peas? We go with the latter.

Gone With the Mushy Peas

Peas

This film is about a wife waking up one morning to find her husband has scarpered with all the mushy peas. The bastard! Then begins a film about vengeance and retribution as the wife hunts down that SOB to stick his head on a spike.

Mushy Peas Park

Peas

Jeff Goldblum stars in this fable about why mankind (as opposed to womankind) shouldn’t make an amusement park where all the attractions are not only about mushy peas, but made from them as well. Disaster.

The Guardians of the Mushy Peas

Peas

Sometimes those mushy peas just need guarding and some brave soles are willing to put their lives on the line in the name of peas… that are mushed.

The Passion of the Mushy Peas

Peas

If, like us, you have a passion for mushy peas then this is the film for you.

Batman v Mushy Peas: Dawn of Justice

Peas

The versus match-off the fans had been screaming for, in this film Ben Affleck takes on a vat of mushy peas, along with Lex Luthor, a jar of urine, and someone called Martha is also involved. Super, man!

The Hobbit: The Desolation of Mushy Peas

Peas

Yeah. Peter Jackson directed this, yadda yadda blah, it went on for far too long and there weren’t enough peas.

12 Angry Mushy Peas

Peas

A dozen utterly furious mushy pea containers rage throughout this legendary comedy about peas, mush, and anger. It won 37 Oscars, including “Best Mushy Pea Screenplay”. Well done.

The Green Mushy Peas

Peas

Tom Hanks stars as a prison warden for delinquent mushy peas on death row. One batch of mushy peas has special powers that can turn wine into snot, so they decide to execute him first. This one is a real weepy.

Back to the Mushy Peas

Peas

Time travel in the name of mushy peas has never been so awesome. It’s the power of mushy peas and one of those DeLorean things. Plus, an old guy called Doc. And peas.

Singin’ in the Mushy Peas

Peas

Sing songs in the mushy peas, eh? This fabulous Hollywood classic required 35 tonnes of mushy peas to create the famous dance number. When they ran out, the crew had to blow their noses into hankys and this snot residue helped finish the shoot.

The Bridge on the Mushy Peas

Peas

Alec Guinness gives it his all in this film about why bridges shouldn’t be build on a mass of mushy peas. May the force be with you, Ewan McGregor!

And finally…

Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Mushy Peas

Peas

This black comedy is legendary for reigniting everyone’s love for mushy peas and nuclear weaponry. A fabulous mix!

18 comments

          • My friend Sam has a phobia of melted cheese and custard. Or rather, they are two separate phobias, though I doubt he’d enjoy the two mixed together either.

            My university housemate Chris would also vomit every time he heard the Thomas the Tank Engine theme tune. Humans are peculiar creatures.

            Liked by 1 person

            • Food phobias, huh? I’m really open about food and will eat pretty much anything, I’m always amazed by how fussy a lot of folks are. I guess… well, I guess I’m just SPECIAL!!

              The Thomas the Tank engine one. That’s psychological gold, that is. Peculiar indeed, although not as strange as walruses.

              Like

  1. Ahh, now that I am void, I can see that this is just another of your sensationalistic posts!
    Your fans should be p’eed off. This is nothing more than pease porridge cold. Mushy peas, indeed!

    Like

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