Smoking isn’t a habit we condone, you know, but in movies it’s made out to be really cool and, you know what, for once we’d like to be really cool. As your average pack of cigarettes costs £700 these days, we’ve instead focused on using wordplay to get more smoking into films so we can all stare at pretty people like Arnold Schwarzenegger smokin’. Hell yeah.
Anyway, without much further all that stuff, here are a batch of films you know which have been made a lot better by adding in a bit of the old putrid, eye wincing, horribleness known as tobacco. Indeed.
Ace Ventura: Smmmmokin’ Detective
Let’s get the smoking rolling with this film about Ace Ventura, who is a detective hired to find people who smoke and exterminate them from the face of the planet. Pretty dark, we know.
Close Encounters of the Smmmmokin’ Kind
Steve Spielberg directed alien-fest involving lots of aliens, Richard Dreyfuss, Hooper from Jaws, and lots of smoke.
Gone with the Smmmmokin’!
Wind? NO! Smokin’ in the wind is a bad idea, as this documentary about what happens to smoke when it’s blasted away in a gust of wind. Very moving.
The Smmmmokin’ Redemption
Red and Andy smoke it up a notch in this adaptation of Steven King’s novel that really, really takes a close look at the smoking community at Shawshank prison.
Orson Welles and cigarettes. Does it get any cooler?
The Sound of Smmmmokin’!
In this daft musical about singing, Nazis, and smoking singing Nazis, Julie Andrews prances about with a whooping cough due to the adverse results of smoking.
Smmmmokin’ Wars: The Phantom Menace
Terrible Star Wars film plagued by Jar Jar Binks, who smokes his way through the film and ruins all of Ewan McGregor’s scenes.
2001: A Smmmmokin’ Odyssey
Kubrick, space, and smoking. This landmark piece of cinema put smokin’ on the map.
Smmmmokin’ in the Rain
Nope, not when it’s raining you won’t! This tragic tale looks at what it’s like to smoke in the rain. Answer: not a lot happens. The cigarette goes out.
Violent war opera about smoking… right bloody now! The talented cast of smokers smoke their way through the three hour running team. After this one, you’ll love the smell of tobacco in the morning. Smells like… victory.
Smmmmokin’ with Wolves
Kevin Costner romp about his time hanging out with wild wolves whilst smoking heavily. This was Costner’s stoner phase during the early 1990s. It received no Oscars.
The Smmmmokin’ Club
1980s romp with Molly Ringwald about a bunch of students in trouble for smoking too much. Forced into the smokin’ club, they enjoy banter, smoking, and the occasional wheezy cough.
Batman & Robin Smmmmokin’!
Terrible 1997 film with George Clooney and some other guy being terrible. The only highlight is all the smoking that goes down. Smokin’!
The Smmmmokin’ Knight
Think Christian Bale as Batman was putting that voice on for a laugh? Wrong! That’s from years of 50 a day, kids!
Jeff Goldblum visits an island with dinosaurs and starts smoking heavily once things hit the fan. He smokes over 100 in the film. Hot stuff! Rarrrrr.