Pop songs often play around with language in a way that’s not entirely legal. However, with hummable hits like Can’t Get You Out of My Shed influencing our lives, you can’t complain too much about some weird grammatical usage. Indeed, which is why we’ve decided to head on into a batch of pop music classics to shake things up a bit by ruining them with elongated titles which removes any hummability from them. Nice!
These Boots Are Made For Walking, Because That’s What Boots Were Invented To Do On A Fundamental Level (Asides From The Additional Fashionable Aesthetic Factor)
Nancy Sinatra wore a lot of boots. She knew they were for walking and she was pretty intent on getting this across to the general public. You go girl!
The Sound of Silence is Very Silent, Which Could Potentially Be Befitting of Your Personality Type (or not) Dependent On Your Life Experiences To Date
Simon and Garfunkel knew they were Garfunkel and Simon, really. When they wrote this song it was very silent, but it was eventually record execs who suggested they truncate the above song title to capture the silent nature of the song. Cool.
My Generation is a Bit Different From the Previous One, so Please Adapt to this New State of Affairs Accordingly
The Who knew a thing or two about punch hit singles! This one wasn’t too punch to begin with as Pete Townshend over-thought the whole premise. Ultimately, after the original title broke Roger Daltrey and he began stuttering, he cut it back to simply My Generation. It didn’t fix the stutter.
There Isn’t a Mountain of Great Vertical Extent Enough, Within Considerable Amounts of Reason, To Withhold Me From Gaining Access To Your General Whereabouts (You May, Or May Not, Consider This Alarming)
A classic Motown hit covered by Marvin Gaye and then Diana Ross. We kind of like our reworked title above, but we guess it loses its “hit single” factor by reducing it to a protracted mess. Hey, at least the diction and grammar is spot on now!
I’m a Boy Which is, Incidentally, The Total Polar Opposite of a Girl, But I Felt I Should Clarify This State of Affairs In The Event You Were Confused
Another classic from the Who, again this one caused a band member to break – Keith Moon drove a Rolls Royce into a swimming pool when he heard the full extent of Townshend’s latest title. It was later shortened to I’m a Boy.
Don’t Look Back in Anger, Although This Is Just My Subjective Advice, So Feel Free To Take It With a Pinch of Salt
Oasis is a band from Manchester, where there are many idioms and bouts of colloquialisms which are enough to confuse anyone from non-Manchester. Still, the basic premise for this hit single is sound, it’s just we felt it needed clarifying further.
Crazy In Love, Which, Admittedly, Probably Isn’t the Best Approach As I Don’t Condone Dating Anyone Too Crazy And Then Falling In Love With Them (For Overt Reasons)
Beyoncé knows a thing or two about love, and crazy stuff, which is why here first crack at this song went a tad awry. She’s since refined her act. You go, grill!
Set Fire to the Rain, Although I Should Warn You This is Pretty Difficult to Do Unless You Have Access to a Large Amount of Petrol and a Device Capable of Firing It Into the Air Whilst Also Igniting Itself to Ensure the Rain Does, Indeed, Immolate Itself
Adele sure knows how difficult it is to set fire to the rain. If you follow the specific instructions above, however, then you too can bask in the merry Hell of rainfall that is on fire. Lovely.