Don’t panic. But Professional Moron is currently experiencing technical difficulties. But whilst you shouldn’t panic, the staff certainly is.

Mr. Wapojif, our esteemed editor, was last seen running towards Manchester City Council with a Pot Noodle in one hand and a bazooka in t’other. Best of luck to him.

But what does a technical failure at Professional Moron mean? Let’s explore the topic.

Technical, Technical

The issue is believed to have been caused by Mr. Wapojif spraying orange juice across all the office equipment. He claimed this would make everything more “autumnal”.

This led to much of the office electronics and computer-based equipment to immediately fizzle, crackle, and pop.

With fires rife and panic setting in, we realised we were in a spot of bother. “Technical issues”, as the wider world knows.

This wasn’t helped by an unnamed employee clogging the one and only office toilet.

The wave of panic swept through the headquarters and, in a rage, our editor disappeared to blame Manchester city council.

Our “Commitment” To Our Readers

Without our readers, Professional Moron would exisit. It’s just no one would read it.

But for those of you who do, we’re treating today’s technical bother as a chance to go through the highs and lows of this site since February 2012. And what else was going on back the for us?

• Professional Moron’s very first post was on February 18th 2012. Check out how shit it was. Not a single like! That’s how you get blogging, geezer.
• Our fifth post was actually the first Santa column! Now in this post you’ll note the formatting issues and general lack of structuring going on. Experience has taught us how to do the genius work that we now don’t do today on Professional Moron. We’re proud we’ve advanced this nonsense to a point where it’s organised nonsense.
• In April 2012 we did this post on Keith Moon. The London Olympics committee contacted The Who asking them if they could use the drummer in the opening performance. There was one major problem there.
• We also did this fun guide to Adélie penguins no one liked. Bastards.
• Rayman Origins was our first proper video game review! Ubisoft sent us a tweet about it, too. And we ignored that, for some reason.

Yeah, so the point here isn’t to chastise you all for your negligence, but to pay more attention. Right?

If there’s one thing the world needs right now, it’s more total stupidity. And we provide it big time. Bon!