15 Horror Films Ruined by Adding “Snuggums” Into the Title

A human skull covered in horrifying blood
“I love you too, darling! May the daffodils of perpetuity dapple upon thine bonce, hopefully not inducing severe lacerations or a brain haemorrhage.”

Good old gut-wrenching horror films. Can’t beat a bit of the old terrifying terror. Scary dary. Lots of gore! Aiiiiiiieee (not in the rapping sense) etc.

But, hey, what happens if you take a classic horror film and, instead of adding more gore and banal screaming tropes, you make it all sickly sweet?

The Evil Snuggums

Love birds snuggling

This film is about evil cuddling. It involves a couple going about their life, moving from one apartment to the next, getting kicked out for cackling insanely whilst cuddling. For you see, evil cuddling will get you evicted. Mwahahahaha!

The Snuggums of the Lambs

Teddy bears snuggling

Lambs are cute so why not cuddle up with them? This documentary follows a bunch of stoned hippies frolicking about in fields with said diminutive beasts. Please note, this film definitely is not some perverted romp along. If you thought that, get out of here! Go on! This is a family blog.

The Snuggums of Frankenstein

Love birds snuggling

The monster may be terrifying, but its creator needs Victor Frankenstein needs a personal life, too. This prequel follows the dating misadventures of Victor as he puts off women with his insane cackling and ranting about bolts of lightning.

The Snuggums

Teddy bears snuggling

Jack Nicholson stars in this Stephen King adaptation. He goes out into the countryside to look after a hotel and spends the entire trip cuddling with his wife. The film was voted the most boring in history.

The Texas Snuggums Massacre

Love birds snuggling

Sometimes, snuggums (as in, a romantic cuddle) can turn horrifyingly deadly. Based on a true story from the ’60s, it’s the real-life retelling of a bunch of hippies who had one giant snuggum… and then WWIII almost happened.

The Snuggums Project

Teddy bears snuggling

Out into the woods go some annoying people to find Snuggums. Whilst out and about they get lost and that’s about it. Scary stuff, though. Arnold Schwarzenegger, Bruce Willis, and Danica Patrick star.

Don’t Snuggums Now

Love birds snuggling

Terrifying ’70s flick with Donald Sutherland who needs reminding to shave his moustache off before snuggling. Films ends dramatically with his wife hacking him to bits with winkle picker shoes… as he dared to grow a BEARD!

28 Snuggums Later

Teddy bears snuggling

Almost a month of snuggling, eh? And what happens after those 28 days, as paramedics arrive to prise the terrified couple apart with a crowbar? Scurvy, emaciation, gangrene, and divorce. DON’T SNUGGLE FOR A MONTH!

The Last Snuggums on Earth

Love birds snuggling

In this dystopian nightmare a couple has the final cuddle in history before extinction due to a lack of Marmite. Bleak, but a stark reminder of the importance of yeast-based foodstuffs.

Snuggums Activity

Teddy bears snuggling

CCTV-based horror focussing on a normal family house as a couple snuggles at night, only to be disturbed by a nearby atom bomb exploding. The film is three minutes long.

Snuggums of the Dead

Love birds snuggling

Simon Pegg’s award-winning prequel to Shaun of th Dead. But with more snuggling.

A Quiet Snuggums

Teddy bears snuggling

Emily Blunt and bearded husband star in this film about a couple in a dystopian world where it’s just, like, totally impossible to cuddle in peace and quiet. Features a cameo from Gordon Ramsay.

Ready or Snuggums

Love birds snuggling

A 2019 horror film. Never seen it. But we LOVE the title!

The Snuggums in the Woods

Teddy bears snuggling

Clever 2011 horror film that subverts genre expectations by having everyone cuddle in the woods. Which is what this whole list is about? How does that subvert anything!?

And finally…

Invasion of the Snuggums Snatchers

Love birds snuggling

Pesky aliens are jealous of the human capacity to cuddle! Thusly, they travel to Earth to steal all the people doing just that, making it the most dangerous activity in human history.

4 comments

Have some gibberish to dispense with?

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.