Truly, Richard Adams’ Watership Down (1972) is a fantasy book for the ages. A masterclass in timeless storytelling and a classic of fiction.

But what about the little known copyright infringement spin-off by the author who published a book and was then sent to jail for being stupid?

That’s the incredible “true” story of Watership Up! One of terrible writing, contrived plot developments, a foul-mouthed seagull, and lovely bunny rabbits.

Watership Up: A Tale of Upside Down Rabbits Struggling to Comprehend the World

This book was written by author X. This individual will remain unnamed as he/she is now in jail facing 135 years in prison. What for? COPYRIGHT INFRINGEMENT, SAH!

He/she deserves it, too! As taking the plot of Watership Down and inverting the title and narrative is lazy writing at its worst.

Yes, that’s right, the plot of Watership Up is EXACTLY the same as Watership Down. It’s just it all plays out with the rabbits hovering upside down. Even when they meet the loveable rogue black-headed seagull Kehaar he can’t believe it.

“You stupid bunnies!!!”

He screeches at them, before going on to inform them that being upside down is probably just about the worst survival tactic one could assume in the wild. He’s correct, too!

The bunnies then stumble across the upturned and fascist Efrafa rabbit warren, also populated by upside down bunnies. An all out war unfolds as the warring warrens do battle to be the first bunny rabbit population in the world to face the right way up.

Assisted by Keehar, whose catchphrase becomes “You stupid bunnies!!!” (and is repeated 453 times throughout the novel), the good bunny rabbits do eventually prevail and Watership Up is renamed The Leaning Hill of Watership Sideways after the Efrafa is defeated.

The novel closes with Keehar, fed up with the stupidity of the rabbits and realising he needs a break, flies off to the seaside for a holiday with tasty ice lollies.

Banned by the Brits and Other Prison Sentences

One month after its release, Watership Up was deemed too stupid for public consumption. It was outright banned by the UK government, all copies were gathered together, and they were burned in the street by crowds of deranged, drunken Brits.

Author X was then arrested and sentenced without trial to multiple life sentences for being an idiot and ruining a beloved story.

It’s believed author X attempted to clamber upside down, a bit like Spiderman, across the walls and roof of the courtroom. Eventually the judge threw her gavel at author X, causing the individual to plunge from the roof and smash violently into cage of bunny rabbit witnesses below.

The rabbits were unharmed.

Author X is now serving his/her sentence in a maximum security prison that’s designed to ensure nothing like a Shawshank Redemption styled escape will ever, ever happen.

However, a terrifying rumour has emerged from prison that author X has requested a typewriter, been granted this, and is now writing a novel called Watership Perpendicular.

A petition has now been launched by the great British public to forever ban author X from EVER TYPING ANYTHING AGAIN!

Let us hop, skip, nibble on cabbages, and jump in the hope this movement succeeds in stopping this halfwit from writing these absurd stories and/or committing his/herself to some original bloody thought.