Mint Tea: The Enigma Explained

Mint tea
Mint tea, eh?

We’re very fond of Mint Tea in the Professional Moron office, so much so that we even use capital letters when we write it out. Behold; Mint Tea. And why not? Mint Tea deserves its place in history as possibly the best beverage EVER! Are we being silly? No we ruddy well are not! We love Mint Tea with a passion and would defend its honour vigorously – violently if required. How violently? We’d force evil naysayers to sit and watch

We love Mint Tea with a passion and would defend its honour vigorously – violently if required. How violently? We’d force evil naysayers to sit and watch Prometheus without the ability to wail and scream at the sheer intolerable rubbishness of it all. Now that’s commitment to the cause, madame! However, one does not have anything to fear, one doesn’t. Mint Tea will help you in ways which watching dire prequels of violent alien sci-fi flicks, er, will. Won’t? We’ve completely lost our bus of thought.

So what’s this rambling, oddball post going to be about ? What exactly can we describe about Mint Tea which isn’t already very obvious? Oh, boy, girl, you don’t know what you’ve let yourself in for!

Mint Tea

Mint Tea was discovered by cannibals in 1734 in a little tea shop just off Earls Court in London. Now the one thing which has annoyed us about Earls Court for a long time is that it should, really, be Earl’s Court. Right?

Or are we being moronic? Anyway, it is believed, or that it has never been proven for certain, that Mint Tea was introduced by the cannibals as a way to shift the red meat through their system as quickly and as VIOLENTLY as possible. In a cruel twist of

In a cruel twist of fate it had been discovered around about 2 thousand years earlier that Mint Tea was very soothing on the gut. The Chinese made this discovery. All hail China! So what else is so good about Mint Tea, you ask? Well we shall inform you, quite heartily, below!

The truth hurts. Like a great big soldering iron being forced into your right nostril, or like when you fall into a nettle patch. Yowch, the agony! However, the truth is you can also drink NETTLE TEA and it doesn’t agonisingly sting your throat until a violent death meets you at the gates of your house. Or something. Nettle tea is very good for you. So is Dandelion Tea. And Green Tea. And many more.

You should just be drinking tea 24/7 really, and do away with nasty, harsh coffee, or stuff like Sunny Delight (the orange juice drink which, if consumed to great excess, makes you turn orange through a chemical overdose).

So, ladies and gentlemen, on this very merry (it’s actually heaving it down with rain in Manchester) evening (or morning, depending on where you are. It might even be the afternoon!) you should make haste for your nearest supermarket and purchase TEA! Do it, and your body will say, “Ta!”. Indeed.

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