Confusing Sign Confuses Professional Moron

A sign that says open.
Closed?

This sign went up in our office today. The Professional Moron staff crowded around to deliberate it.

What an Office Sign Means

Emotions ran high and there were signs that most of us were trying our best not to cry. But, indeed, most of us construed that it meant going back to work.

Here’s a brief, verbatim, extract of the conversation:

  • Mr. Wapojif: One believes it suggests the prominence of the human figure through the arrow; the arrow is Gertrude the God of Arrows, and the human is running away from the Arrow spawn who aren’t properly formed into Arrows yet.
  • Truman Trumanson: What?
  • Mr. Wapojif: You disagree?
  • Truman Trumanson: I do, sir!
  • Mr. Wapojif: Those who defy me are also known to fear me!
  • Truman Trumanson: I, sir, care not for your threats and only for the cash from your wallet!
  • Mr. Wapojif: Wherefore shall you not do not care? I recommend that you see there that it says, “Open”! And this means to you, and myself, that we must hasten inside to complete daily duties. Do you concur?
  • Truman Trumanson: I do indeed concur!
  • Mr. Wapojif: That’s good to know! Now, hasten inside or shall I shall threaten you with a romance bazooka!
  • Truman Trumanson: OMFG!
  • Mr. Wapojif: I know, right!? LOL!

As you can see, we got a bit sidetracked. We’ve since been seated and have forced our brains to understand the sign.

Then we saw the fire exit signs. That complicated matters a tad.

Clearly it suggests avoiding a raging fire by running away. What were we taught at school? “In the event of a fire, remain calm and walk out of the building towards your fire point.”

This sign is suggesting the opposite, “Panic and flee for your life!” We’ll run with that. After all, was it not Monty Python and the Holy Grail who taught us, “Run away!”? Indeed.

Have some gibberish to dispense with?

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