Twinkies: What Are They and How Are They Made?

A box of Twinkies.

Okay, so after watching Zombieland in 2009 and hearing about all sorts of other legends about these things, we wanted to know what they are.

In England, Twinkies aren’t much of a big deal. Although these days you can buy them in some supermarkets in the world food aisles.

But in America they’re a massive deal! Like a national institution. So, let’s have a gander at what’s going on here.

What is a Twinkie?

It’s an American snack that’s a bit like a portable cake. It’s a golden sponge provided in a wrapper, with a cream filling.

Hostess Brands was responsible for this foodstuff.Twinkies were created by James Dewar in 1930.

When the business went bankrupt on 21st November 2012 (our birthday!), there was actually an end to all Twinkie production!

This meant you couldn’t buy the things and there was scarcity. But! Production began again on July 15th, 2013.

These days Grupo Bimbo’s Vachron Inc. is responsible for Twinkies.

This is actually a Canadian business, with its factory in Montreal. Although that’s close enough to Vermont, so not too distant for Americans.

How Are Twinkies Made?

The process begins with the cake batter which is baked in an oven. These are then allowed to cool.

As this is a mass process, up to 35,000 Twinkies may be cooling at any given time.

It’s only once the little cakes have cooled is the cream filling added. It’s injected into it’s arse and, hey presto, we have ourselves a Twinkie!

The Making of a Twinkie Legend

As in England we don’t sell them, Brits are clueless to their otherworldly charms.

We do, however, think Americans only ever eat Twinkies… and McDonald’s, of course. Twinkies seem to have been on all sorts of TV shows—Family Guy, South Park, The Simpsons… that other one.

Friends, too, at some point we guess. As Joey from Friends would say, “How you doin’?”

More recently, the fiendish little delights feature in the film Zombieland. Where Woody Harrelson’s character is pining for his fix.

Often I have been left awake at night, thrashing about in my bed, duvet getting wrapped around my wriggling limbs, and pondering this most momentous question.

“What ARE TWINKIES!” I have been known to scream in sheer terror. My neighbours in the apartment block housing Mr. Wapojif’s headquarters have become quite terrified of my rampant wailing.

Sadly they will have to suffer it some more, as until I get my actual, real, personal human hands on some Twinkies I will have to continue my distressed caterwauling. Woe is me!

Dispense with some gibberish!

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