The thing on the right is a Boston Cream Donut. Now, unless you have severely low intelligence, you will understand these delightful little things are as healthy for you as eating dog excrement.

This may seem harsh, but donuts don’t have much nutritional value. Honest, guv.

This doesn’t stop a lot of people from eating them for breakfast, lunch, dinner, as a snack, in-between snacks, and as a midnight sugar crash saviour. Yes, donuts are ace. Very tasty. Lovely.

Eating Donuts For Breakfast

They also clog your veins, make you morbidly obese, and make your skin look like something off Mars… red and blotchy and bumpy.

Sorry, Mars, but it’s true! There’s also an urban myth doing the rounds—eat 17 donuts in a row and you will turn into a Michelin Man version of Marie Antoinette.

Now this we would like to see, as hideous as it would be!

Over the last year donut stores have boomed with popularity in England. BOOMED! The success of Krispy Kreme Doughnuts isn’t too surprising given how gluttonous we all are. The real surprise is why it took us Brits so long to catch on.

Anyway, seeing as they are a bit of a hit, what else could you have for breakfast to speed up the old cardiac arrest? A greasy fry up is always popular!

In England it’s something of a speciality, so try adding an extra few sausages, three more fried eggs, and a splat of butter.

Take up using whole milk and eating high sugar cereals.

Ditch the orange juice for Coca Cola, fling away the porridge for pop tarts and a tasty Pot Noodle sandwich, and, above all else, eat at least 17 donuts for breakfast! For England, James?