I sat around thinking, “What can I be bothered writing about today?” and, you know, it hit me. It hit me like a massive truck. “Cows…” I thunked. “Cows!” I roared. “COWS!” I cocophaninicated. Shortly after this I received a police warning for undue behaviour. I appleogisied and then slunk back into my hovel. Yet… the cow ordeal was just the end. Er, beginning. I got to thinking, right, and it soon seemed pertinent to postulate the importance of cows. And then it hit me. Like a cow out of its field, I realised the importance of my creation.

Thusly, Cow Mobiles were invented. They’re kind of like cows, but more mobile. With added vehicle aspects. Basically, you get a car and you shred it down to its engine. Then, after this, you get a cow and you sellotape the engine onto its back. Then you attach some mobile to the additional cow, and, thusly, you have the John Mobile. Er, Kevin Mobile. Erm… where the hell am I? Yes. Yes, the Cow Mobile. Notice I noticed? Awesome. Now, excuse me, I need to go and floss my ears.