Mario Kart 8 was released a few months ago for Nintendo’s excellent Wii U, and Mr. Wapojif has been swearing his head off ever since. This game promotes more vitriolic abuse and foul obscenities than any other! The series began back in 1992 with Super Mario Kart on the SNES. Mr. Wapojif played it to smithereens, and can remember proudly boasting to his parents (The Wapojif family having a long lineage) of his first ever 3rd position circa ’93, aged 8.
His sister, however, would thump him if he ever hit her with a red shell. Which is, you know, missing the point of the game. Anyway, the N64 version followed and there have been several incarnations since. It’s a game anyone can play, and it’s one which highlights the mind crushing infuriation of every day life. It does this with the manic thrill of fun and escapism in standard Nintendo style – genius.
Mario Kart 8 is arguably the best yet in the series, and this is no mean feat. It’s an acclaimed series and Mr. Wapojif so dearly loves the SNES version (which you can handily download to the Wii U from the eShop – bonus! Nostalgia mayhem!).
Mr. Wapojif has, however, been wondering about the psychology of players in the online mode. You can play against up to 12 people at once, and races are as chaotic and berserk as is humanly imaginable. It’s utter insanity. However, such is the infuriating nature of the game many players become bitter.
There’s one trick Professional Moron picked up on in particular. As players race to the finish line on the final lap, they often fire a shell backwards into the oncoming racers. Many a time Mr. Wapojif has punched himself in the face in sheer fury after being hit by one of these. He himself quickly picked up the practice, utterly ruining other people’s races, and this tactic has spread like wildfire amongst Mario Kart 8 sorts.
There’s no point to it – the race is run. The only thing it promotes is malice and spite. “Everyone else does it. I’m going to, too!”. The game knows no mercy. At all. It drives players to the brink of psychosis, and then occasionally rewarding them with a win, reminding them life can be brilliant. Nintendo – you canny lovelies!
