Exclusive New Drink: Coughy – Cough Syrup Coffee!

Got a cough? Want some coffee at the same thyme? Coughy is for you!
Got a cough? Want some coffee at the same thyme? Coughy is for you!

The best thing about getting a cough as a kid was getting to drink cough syrup (NB: If there are any kids reading this, DO NOT drink any cough syrup unless your doctor tells you to). It was like drinking tasty syrup which had a real punch to it and was mega tasty and punchy. It also got rid of your cough (except it probably didn’t), and made you feel like a grown up. Now we are all grown ups most of us want to be kids again, so our latest invention is designed to bring back some youthful verve. You can do this whilst remaining uber cool and chic – all of it courtesy of Coughy! If you’ve been to one of those stupidly trendy coffee shops (like Starbucks, Peter Manger, Bob’s Coffee Shop, and IKEA) you’ll be aware they sell all manner of high caffeine content beverages. Coughy is the strongest of the lot! A fabulous mix of the finest cough syrup in the world, and the strongest, freshest coffee beans in the history of humanity. It’s a potent mix and one designed to put hair on your eyebrows, heal your whooping seal bark, and provide you with the caffeine fix you so crave you poor coffee addicted freak of nature, you!

The drink itself is probably illegal on numerous grounds, but it will be provided by coffee shops if you turn up with a relevant prescription. That be right – to try our coffee you’re going to need to get yourself a whooping cough, book an appointment with your doctor, get a prescription, take the prescription to a participating coffee shop, and order the Coughy. Will it be worth it? Well if you can imagine the taste of strong black coffee mixed with cough syrup, then you’re probably already half insane. Enjoy!

Dispense with some gibberish!

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