When Is A Generalisation Not A Generalisation?

Is it fair to generalise cheese as cheese? Today we get deep down and funky with the Pretentious Hour debate. Tune in for this pointless stupidity, Jeeves!
Is it fair to generalise cheese as cheese? Today we get deep down and funky with the Pretentious Hour debate. Tune in for this pointless stupidity, Jeeves!

We’ve been thinking about generalisations today (or generaliZations, for Americans). In modern life we think of generalisations as somewhat moronic: you donut categorise entire groups of people into one arena of thought. For instance, as Brits, we often find the popular notions of British folk are: posh, tea drinking, royal family obsessed, bad teeth, eccentric, foul smelling, extra limb afflicted, half mad, drunk, stupid, bad farmers, Fish & Chips loving, moustache promoting, cheese loving, football hooligans. Which is some list. We’ll have you know these generalisations are a bit off. At Professional Moron we do not have any extra limbs, don’t care for the Royals, and nor do we farm. So, by definition, this means we’re not bad farmers. At all. Ever.

The point is, generalisations are as wrong as Strawberry Jelly and Baked Bean Soup. However, at what point do generalisations stop being generalisations? For instance, cheese is cheese. This isn’t insulting to the cheese, as it is cheese. It isn’t morally reprehensible to point at a cheese counter in a supermarket and loudly announce, “Youuu… bloody cheeses!”. This won’t land you in jail. No. It makes you an expert on cheese, and will have you hired by cheese.com as a resident cheese expert. In this instance generalisations are good, as they just got you a career!

This enlightening notion spreads elsewhere. Doormats, for instance, can easily be generalised as doormats. As they are doormats. Much the same for cake. Merge the two together, for a hybrid Doormat Cake monstrosity (which we dub the Doormake – clever, non?), and you break forth from generalisations into a world of creativity. So what does this mean? It means generalisations are only generalisations when based on the nonsensical jabbering of imbeciles like us. Thusly we conclude today’s debate, even though we’ve no idea what we established over the last 347 words. Oh well, same as every day, eh?!? Lolz bucketz.

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