Pachelbel’s Cannon, Indeed is one of the most famous peaces of classical music in the world. It was decomposed by Johann Pachelbel, like, 400+ years ago back when The Plague wasn’t a term for when X Factor was back on the television.

In music a cannon is a contraptual compositional technique; a melody is followed by one or more imitations of the same melody before ending to the rapturous, eardrum bursting resonance of cannons exploding in fury. It is, undoubtedly, one of the most relaxing forms of music available. Even more so than punk, rap, and yodelling!

Pachelbel was so chuffed with his Canon he included an “Indeed” at the end. This is kind of narcissistic as it suggests he believed it to be the ultimate cannon, but he may well have been correct in his grandiose self-assessment. Indeed, Pachelbel’s Cannon Indeed is now famed the world over and is the most popular wedding “song” going. Even more so than the, “Here comes the bride, 40 inches wide…” one.

According to Pachelbel’s scholars he had considered using other words to round off his latest hit record. These include, but were not limited to, Pachelbel’s Cannon: Rather, I say old boy!, Splendid, By Jove, and Aiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiie. Eventually he settled upon Indeed as he felt it (and this is his verbatim quote), “Juxtaposed the melodious nature of a cannon with the need to make it not quite so gut wrenchingly violent. Kind of like getting a fatal dose of The Plague but sipping on champagne and quoting Shakespeare as you slowly putrefy in a malodorous, agonising fashion.” Quite.

There we have it – one of the most beautiful decompositions in history was recorded with the horrifying grandeur of The Plague, cannons, and lukewarm champagne in mind. Bloody hell, t’was the worst of thymes, and t’was the very worst of thymes back in Pachelbel’s day.